Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women

Customer Reviews:

Excellent and clear-headed presentation on a much needed topic.......2007-04-18

This book delves into a topic that is essential for all adults to understand, but unfortunately relatively few do - namely the differences between men and women.

This topic has been muddied with many lies and deceptions, but Brain Sex cuts through them and tells you what academics and teachers know to be true, but are afraid to say, because they will lose their positions and/or have their funding cut by the PC thought police.

This book clearly shows that sexual differences between males and females are primarily an issue of biology. Therefore the differences will not go away through coercion and re-education programs. Contrast this to feminist claims that gender differences are environmental (and can therefore be modified by putting aprons on men and football pads on women).

Another reviewer referred to Deborah Blum's book "Sex on the Brain". That book is far inferior to this one. Blum has a feminist axe to grind and seems to be distressed at where the science is taking things. In contrast, this book dispenses with feminist preconceptions and propaganda, and gives you the facts.

Brain Sex is a classic.

common sense retold.......2007-03-23

Its not politically correct and will no doubt anger the believers in feminist dogma. The information is based on generalizations and averages, not individuals. To say that you cannot compare males and females because there are differences within males and within females is illogical. Thats like saying you can't compare groups of individuals because the individuals that make up the group aren't identical. The reason its so easy to anger feminists is because their beliefs are unsound and they know it, every truth spoken destabilizes their very core.

Brain Sex.......2007-03-13

Excellent,based in scientific research. It is not a "sexual book" but a well written book about hormones,thinking, acting and why men and women
are different.

Fabulous.......2007-03-12

There is a difference between the male and female brain...Fascinating study that helps me appreciate the difference.

Dated, but still a great read.......2005-06-04

"Brain Gender" would have been a more apropos title, but I suppose 'sex' sells, literally.

Sometimes this book goes out on a limb, but they always make it known that's where they're headed. It provides great insight into gender differences and relates perceived behavior and experience to biological discoveries; some proven, some in question, and some merely opinions. It presents the information in a coherent and enjoyable manner, I highly suggest picking it up.

Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women

Average customer rating:

Definitely not a tight plot
dont let this one be your first read
Journalistic not scientific
sex on whose brain?
Tedious

Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women
Deborah Blum
Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Anatomy | Biological Sciences | Science | Subjects | Books

Physiology | Basic Science | Medicine | Subjects | Books

Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women
The Female Brain
Male, Female: THE EVOLUTION OF HUMAN SEX DIFFERENCES
A Primer of Jungian Psychology
Taking Sex Differences Seriously

ASIN: 0140263489

Amazon.com

For centuries, links between biology and behavior have been mined for ammunition in the gender wars. Western science has often tainted the discussion by skewing the norm toward men so that the biological underpinnings of their weaknesses and strengths are applauded while those of women are denigrated. Sex on the Brain is a chatty, fairly evenhanded report on a broad range of animal and human studies intended to provide insight into hot-button issues such as aggression, nurturing behavior, infidelity, homosexuality, hormonal drives, and sexual signals. According to one researcher, "We inherit the behavior essentially of our past." Morning sickness, for example, which steers some women away from strong tastes and smells, may once have protected babes in utero from toxic items. Infidelity is a way for men to ensure genetic immortality. Interestingly, when we deliberately change sex-role behavior--say men become more nurturing or women more aggressive--our hormones and even our brains respond by changing, too.

Book Description

Go beyond the headlines and the hype to get the newest findings in the burgeoning field of gender studies. Drawing on disciplines that include evolutionary science, anthropology, animal behavior, neuroscience, psychology, and endocrinology, Deborah Blum explores matters ranging from the link between immunology and sex to male/female gossip styles. The results are intriguing, startling, and often very amusing. For instance, did you know that. . .
*Male testosterone levels drop in happy marriages; scientists speculate that women may use monogamy to control male behavior
*Young female children who are in day-care are apt to be more secure than those kept at home; young male children less so
*Anthropologists classify Western societies as "mildly polygamous" The Los Angeles Times has called Sex on the Brain "superbly crafted science writing, graced by unusual compassion, wit, and intelligence, that forms an important addition to the literature of gender studies."

Customer Reviews:

Definitely not a tight plot.......2005-06-26

Deborah Blum was "raised in one of those university-based, liberal-elite families" and as such, was raised to believe that there were no differences between men and women. It wasn't until she had her own career, a husband, and two boys that she actually realized there were basic biological differences between male and female behaviour. Her son was playing dinosaur and "I looked down at him one day as he was snarling around my feet and doing his toddler best to gnaw off my right leg, and I thought, This is not a girl thing-- this goes deeper than culture."

So begins her book. Much of the evidence that is presented is done as studies of sex in other animals (the birds and the monkeys- yes, literally) and her lines of reasoning as to "how this happened" are based along lines of possible biological evolutional forces- things that she admits are really little more than educated guesses dressed up as theories.

The chapter on the differences between male and female brains was interesting in that she spent about 90% of the time either denying the validity of the studies or minimizing the verified physical results. (Sure, that spot is bigger, but we don't know that it does anything.)

Occasionally, you come across a gem of the absurd. This one is a good example:

"One leading French scientist of the nineteenth century sought to prove the existence and potency of this magical male stuff [testosterone] by injecting himself with pureed dog testes. He insisted that the extract boosted his energy and sex drive and enabled him to pee in a higher arc, a major issue for men, obviously, in contrast to women." (pg. 158, beginning of chapter six)

She is quite open and forthright about her own left of center feminist viewpoint on the whole subject, and freely gives her opinion on what she WANTS to be true (and making it clear that it IS her opinion).

One basic concept to follow underneath it all is that if evolution has made us "this way" (biologically), there is no reason to conclude that it has stopped now... and since we have the ability to change our culture, we may tap into evolutionary pressures to change the biology of our race in regards to the basic makeup of our sexes. At the end of the book, she admits she has no idea if this is really possible, but it's obvious that she feels it certainly ought to be. Given her basic premises, it is a logical conclusion. If you look at the past as having created this current biology from something else, why should the process stop now?

But to sum it up, I have to agree with the comments about tediousness, in particular towards the end. The last third or so of the book was read simply so I could be satisfied that I had read it, not because it still had my riveted and interested attention. It would have benefited either from a better organization of the material into a coherent overall development (aka a plot, if this were fiction) or of simply dropping the last third of the book.

dont let this one be your first read.......2005-06-04

Having read six books on this exact subject in the past week, I feel information is poorly presented in this one. Sometimes misleading, and sometimes even contradictory.

I highly suggest that you read other books and/or papers on the subject before braving this one. Even then, take this read with a grain of agenda-salt.

Journalistic not scientific.......2005-03-11

Blum's style is horrendous. She traipses from one anecdote about her son to the findings of scientists she has interviewed without the blink of an eye. She does not so much advance arguments or conclusions as much as merely advance dumbed-down versions of scientific studies. Matters such as which questions underlie the research and what the research reveals are interspersed with bad puns and Blum's own opinion as to whether something is insulting or disgusting. Her attempts to lighten the fare are patronizing and distracting.

She wrote way too much about non-humans. This or that primate species is simply not the human species. The differences between them are so great that their relevance for the human species does not seem to be established.

Most of the research she chose was physiological, behavioral, and anthropological. Evolutionary biology (a.k.a. sociobiology) gets only occasional treatment, despite its recent progress in explaining male and female differences.

Note also that the book was published in 1997. I write in 2005, so the book is eight years old. Try to find something more up to date on the subject.

Overall, the book's faults can most easily be attributed to the fact that the author is a journalist and not a scientist. She sarificed too much to appealing to the general readership and is not well-schooled in the science of human sex differences herself.

sex on whose brain?.......2005-02-07

I gave this one one star, but it might rate two. If you're looking for a chatty, rambling, disorganized treatise on gender and biology, and think that you can really learn something valuable about humans from the animal kingdom, then this book is for you. I bought this book because I thought it was going to be about the brain. It's more about gender behavior. You're left to draw you own concllusions about what's going on in the brain. There's gotta be a better book than this.

Tedious.......2004-05-18

It as only recently I was aware that Deborah Blum had written a book called the Monkey Wars, about the animal rights/ vivisectionist's debate. I was not aware of that previous book whist I was reading this one. But it comes to no surprise, that her obvious slant or justification would be on the vivisectionist side. Again I read Sex on The Brain without any prior knowledge of her other writings. The first three chapters relating to hormonal, and testosterone and oestrogen studies, and female male brain size - involved nearly every page describing how cats, monkeys, and rodents had been sliced up, been castrated, cells extracted, brought up in cruel studies (ie cat forced to never see daylight). To access a possible link to human equivalent mind and hormonal changes, ie brain size observation, and testosterone and hormonal levels changes. But as any advocate of valid and proper testing would argue, that animal testing is unnecessary and cruel and non conclusive. Within the first two chapters from pages 18 to 63, she trys to convince the reader that there is some validity in accessing mood changes and brain changes from animal testing (and applying to human brains) - but fails to but conclude the chapter with, and I quote " The contrast (human brains) are too tiny and still far too mysterious". Point one for anti vivisectionist's argument

Sex on the Brain is a tedious book, with an arduous writing style. There are however some interesting points raised in the book, regarding male aggression, risk taking and cognitive skills of both men and women. Unfortunately they end up contradiction each other. Yes men are aggressive due to high levels of testosterone, but female chimpanzees are just as aggressive. Deborah Blum doesn't really explain in detail the correlation to human aggression, and why men and women share similarities.
I found segments in the book that talked about risk taking and why men and women are different in that sense, but it came across in somewhat of sexist overtone. That men take unnecessary risks and women sit and ponder a collective solution - which is? Never explained in any biological sense. The questions would be asked, why do huge portions of women smoke cigarettes, and take unnecessary risks to their own health. How does it differ from male posturing in regards to male personal risk, ie drinking, excess etc. Or biologically does it assume that we take the risk to show some social adequacy?

Also other confusing segments in the book regarding male female attraction, eg women choose men on immune systems similar to them, through possible similarities in appearance. Yet early stages in the book describe how it would be wise for a evolving specie (humans) to mix up their genes, to create stronger offspring. Indifference, not a similarity. So what is it?
Sex on Brain also doesn't go into enough detail research on cultural influence and evolution, in which cultural influence has far out weighed evolution biology, consider the declining western birth rates, women are now having children into their 30's, increasing the risk of down syndrome.

The is so many questions still left un answered, although Sex on The Brain doesn't profess to have the answers. It does how ever relay some confusing findings, that don't seem to stick with any real application - part from the already obvious.

We Have to Talk : Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women
Average customer rating:

We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men & Women

Another Pearl

Some useful tips, but not a book for everybody

Wish I had read it 10 years ago!

It Worked For Me...

We Have to Talk : Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women
Samuel Shem , and Janet L. Surrey
Manufacturer: Basic Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 0465091148

Amazon.com

Most popular books about relationships stress gender differences: We're from different planets, we don't understand each other, our words have different meanings, and so forth. This book asserts that we can understand our differences and get past them, replacing isolation with connection in a healthy, growth-fostering relationship. The authors call this "getting to 'we.'"

Shem and Surrey have worked with more than 20,000 men, women, boys, and girls. We hear workshop participants using "gender dialogue": asking questions to aid in understanding and reconnecting, such as "Name three strengths the other gender group brings to relationships," "What do you most want to understand about the other gender group?", and "What do you most want the other gender group to understand about you?"

"Disconnections between men and women are inevitable--no one ever gets it right the first time, or all the time," say the authors. "It's not only what you do that matters, it's what you do next." This book gives insights into our differences--such as men's "relational dread" and women's "relational yearning," and how to move past conflict to collaboration. The chapter "How Couples Grow" is invaluable, describing a detailed process to work through impasses and rediscover the "we" in your relationship. --Joan Price

Book Description

Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey, a remarkable husband-and-wife team, challenge the popular wisdom that men and women must resign themselves to inherent differences. They outline a program of dialogues that help couples move beyond superficial harmony to genuine connection.

"We have to talk." For many men, these are the four worst words in the English language. But it doesn't have to be that way, argue Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey in their path-breaking and practical new book.

Shem and Surrey use their popular workshops where couples speak intimately about anger, guilt, resentment, shame, and sex to explore the impasses that confront men and women due to the vastly different developmental paths that they travel. And we see couples bridge those gaps to emerge from isolation into mutuality.

Filled with moving stories and practical information, We Have to Talk shatters the Rules and proves that men and women aren't from different planets, after all.

Customer Reviews:

We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men & Women.......2006-05-20

This book challenges the prevailing theories about how men and women are different suggesting that these differences are socialized rather than intrinsic. In this book the authors show what is possible between men and women in terms of having mutual and deep connections by nurturing the "We" rather than the I & you. The concept of seeing ourselves as part of a "We" that needs to be cultivated is revolutionary and filled with promise.

Another Pearl.......2002-03-11

"We Have to Talk" is a good read, almost too good, and I was left wondering how much was fiction and how much was non-fiction. Is Samuel Shem deliberately teasing us in using identical passages in his work of fiction "Mount Misery" and his later release ( with Janet Surrey) "We Have to Talk"?

"We Have to Talk" (pg. 83)

Kate: Where shall we go to dinner?
Mitch: Let's go to Miguel's.
Kate: How `bout Pintemento
Mitch: Okay, let's go to Pintemento.
Kate: (after a pause) But it sounded like you wanted to go to Miguel's.
Mitch: No, no, it's okay-let's go where you want to go.
Kate: But I want to go where you want to go too.
Mitch: (silence)
Kate: Why don't you want to go to Pintemento?
Mitch: I just want to decide.
Kate: But we are deciding.
Mitch: We're not getting anywhere. (tensely) Let's just make a decision.
Kate: (screaming) Why are you yelling at me? (starts to cry)
Mitch: (screaming) I'm not yelling!

"Mount Misery" (pg. 175-176)

. . . "Let's go out to dinner."
"Fine. Where shall we go?"
"Let's go to Miguel's."
"How about Pentimento?"
"Okay," I said, not really caring, "let's go to Pentimento."
She paused, studying me. "But it sounded like you wanted to go to Miguel's."
"No, no, it's okay-let's go where you want to go."
"But I want to go where you want to go too." She considered this, and asked, "Why don't you want to go to Pentimento?"
Feeling more tense, I said, "I just want to decide."
The phone began ringing.
"Why are you yelling at me?"
"I'm not yelling."

Also compare pages 201-202 of "Mount Misery" with page 44 of "We Have to Talk".

The point to be made is not that Shem, the master of extreme hyperbole, is a sham, but that, while his fiction is eerily like real life, his non-fiction smacks of anecdote and fantasy. Even if Tom and Ann are real, a couple detailed in "We Have To Talk" who but the most affluent with limitless recourses, could afford the luxuries they take for granted, in and out of therapy. What about a boot-strapping theory for the rest of us?

Also, why the pervasive Freud bashing in both books? I am certainly not a Freud fan, but why is "holding the We" any less contrived then "the shadow of the object falls across the ego"? Doesn't Shem do exactly as Freud, concocting fanciful theories to fit his anecdotal experiences from a small cross section of the American population in order to serve his own notoriety?

I still recommend "We Have to Talk" but ask the reader to sift through the self help dross for the occasional enlightening pearls.

Some useful tips, but not a book for everybody.......2001-09-05

This book is oriented to people from the USA society. Some ideas discussed in the book might not work for people with other cultural backgrounds, like Asian or Latin American. However, even if you are not from the USA, you could get some good tips, but don't think the whole book will be useful.

Wish I had read it 10 years ago!.......2000-04-17

This is a great book - the kind of book that you wish you had read 10 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of pain and grief in my relationships. I'm a 35 year old male - and I could recognize both the male responses in the book - and the reaction of the women. I recommend it to all my male friends - this is the book all men should read if they want to make their relationships with women work - and if they really want to learn what it means to truly connect, not just with women, but with each other as well. A truly insighful - and inspirational - book.

It Worked For Me..........2000-01-18

A very thought-provoking and enlightening work on gender differences and how they conspire to prevent/hobble quality relationship between men & women. I found myself continually clapping my forehead and saying "Duh!" and I've always fancied myself an evolved, hip and sensitive new-age guy!

With that said, I'm eager to "reality check" this book with some of my women friends to get their perspective. My instinct tells me "We Have to Talk" can be an incredibly valuable tool in understanding the deep, social underpinnings of both interpersonal communication and relational behavior. In fact, this may have been the single best interpersonal or "relationship" book I've ever read...and I've read a few. I now feel much better-equipped now to build stronger, healthier and more mutually-rewarding relationships in the future.

I also got the sense the authors really know their stuff and commend them for presenting the issue and information in a clear,very readable style.

I'm with Stupid: One Man. One Woman. 10,000 Years of Misunderstanding Between the Sexes Cleared Right Up
Average customer rating:

A bit slow, but some great moments

Boys Suck! According to me (...)

just out in a paperback version and this means I can own it!

I love these writers

For Typicals only

I'm with Stupid: One Man. One Woman. 10,000 Years of Misunderstanding Between the Sexes Cleared Right Up
Gene Weingarten , and Gina Barreca
Manufacturer: Simon & Schuster
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | Humor | Entertainment | Subjects | Books
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Book Description

Is God male or female? Why do women, but not men, flush public toilets with their feet? Why are men, but not women, obsessed with parallel parking? Why do women, but not men, leave eleven-minute messages on answering machines? Why do men feel guilty about nothing, and women feel guilty about everything? Was Marilyn Monroe...fat?

These philosophical quandaries, and more, are finally debated in I'm with Stupid, an uproariously funny dialogue between Gene Weingarten, the gleefully misogynistic Washington Post humor columnist, and Gina Barreca, the gleefully feminist University of Connecticut professor.

The first significant book about men and women actually written by a man and a woman, I'm with Stupid is privy to the dark secrets of both sexes. It's not a lecture, but an extended argument, a combustion of viewpoints that winds up unearthing startling truths. In the words of Gene and Gina: "Our Mars and Venus breach their orbits and collide in a screaming fireball from Hell."

The subject matter spans art and expression, science and technology, politics and history, spirituality and religion, sex and sexuality, as well as the complex etiology, sociology, and etymology of dirty jokes. Men: Learn at last how to know for sure when you are having a fight. Women: Learn what he really means when he says "I'm sorry." Take sides as Gene and Gina face off in a haggling challenge in which the winner manages to get the lowest price for a Mercedes S500. Or just take in the show.

I'm with Stupid is the book that finally establishes, conclusively, that women are funnier than men. And vice versa.

Download Description

Customer Reviews:

A bit slow, but some great moments.......2006-07-31

I got this book for our first datingaversary (anniversary between those not yet married or engaged) -- great gift idea, by the way, since it was a hit with the boyfriend and his friends found the gift idea pretty funny as well.

If you're familiar with Gene and Gina, then this book is very similar to the articles featured in the Washington Post. Be prepared for the same sort of slow build-up, then laughing-so-hard-sides-aching humour that Gene and Gina put together. Some weeks are gems, other weeks are a bit off. My only major criticism of this book is that Gina is so polar to the point where it is ridiculous exaggeration or just plain unbelievable that someone could be that ornery and bitchy. Her polemic ideas and thoughts do set up for some of the best *zings!* though.

All in all, not a bad book, you'd just bookmark the funny chapters and only reread those parts.

Boys Suck! According to me (...).......2006-02-27

This book was excellent. When I saw the title of this book in the bookstore I knew I would love it. I relate to this book in so many ways. Sadly every boy I know annoys me. I wanted to be friends with boys but I just didn't know how at this age. Then I read this book,it showed me how different the male and female sex is. It helped me realize how to ignore boy's stupidity (to a point) and just know for the most part boys are funny and fun to be with. This book was hilarious and I loved it. It's a little over the top but still definitely worth reading.If your interested in realistic-fiction you should definetly read this book. Also write your own review,so other teens like you and me can read this great book.

just out in a paperback version and this means I can own it!.......2006-01-28

I saw these guys at a reading a couple of years ago but couldn't afford to buy it which is why I moved to a better job in a new city but now that the paperback is out I am getting it for anybody I know who complains about their relationship, which is everybody! because they make it impossible not to laugh at yourself and your partner. It is an easy read, keep it next to the bathroom! and you'll laugh at every page.

I love these writers.......2006-01-26

This is a funny, funy book. They are a great team. No where else can you get 2 people who give you ideas of what it is like from the other person's perspective. This is a book to read more than once. W. is a great writer.

For Typicals only.......2006-01-18

If you are a "typical," meaning, you're typically female or typically male, you will enjoy this book.

As an atypical female, I am offended by Regina's acceptance only of women who are just like she is. Any woman who does not fit her pre-identified mold of "woman" is not welcomed in the world at large, nor is she represented in this "book." Having read "I'm with Stupid" only affirms my stance as proud-to-be-atypical.

This "book" reads exactly as it is: several IM/email sessions between two strangers who have never met, and who, at the end of the "book," debate on whether or not they should meet in the future. After all, they have "written a book together." (rolleyes) When all is said and done, these are two middle aged writers who thought this concept would be "cool," but instead, they come across as the only two people who think this "concept" is cool.

Other reviewers have mentioned funny banter, and this is present. However, reading both sides' inane explanations, excuses and reasonings to back up his/her theories as fact is for those who are satisfied with the current state of men vs women, male v female.

Enough already with the battle of the sexes!!! We're always asking men to change for women but perhaps if women changed how they did things (face things with integrity rather than manipulation), men would really wise up and start paying attention, because then they would be able to respect women. Until then, let's not look to Regina Barreca for her outdated thoughts on this subject.

You Don't Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes

Average customer rating:

Great, easy-to-read, informative book
my friends are askin me for this book...
Excellent, Useful and Provocative!!
Sophisticated and useful analysis
understanding womanspeak

You Don't Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication Between the Sexes
Audrey Nelson , and Susan K. Golant
Manufacturer: Prentice Hall Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0735203474
Release Date: 2004-03-02

Amazon.com

Communications consultant Audrey Nelson and writer Susan Golant have created a strategic book about the power of what men and women don't say. Drawing upon 25 years experience of "looking at the dirty laundry of male/female miscommunication," they invite readers to use nonverbal cues to succeed at work and in love.

Rather than assuming that men and women are from different planets, the authors explore how every culture invents sex-linked communication styles. Their key to effectiveness is "Gender-Flexing," a technique to recognize the limits of sexual typecasting and make strategic--rather than sex linked--decisions about non-verbal signals. The question becomes: What kind of non-verbal behavior will be most effective in this situation? The answer is found in understanding how a smiling woman can undercut her credibility or why a stone-faced man fails to convey understanding.

The authors' approach is anthropological, drawing on work of Ray Birdwhistell and Edward Hall, but it is also readable and highly practical. They focus on the misunderstandings that result from "typical" gender facial expressions (the flirt or poker face), eye contact (avoid the stare down and the down cast eyes), touch (death to the limp handshake and the space violator posture) and hand gestures (how to--and how not to--talk with your hands). This well written book is peppered with research and packed with solid advice. --Barbara Mackoff

Book Description

More than words, it's nonverbal cues that have the power to improve-or impair-our interactions with the opposite sex at home and in the workplace. In fact, 90% of communication is conveyed through unspoken behaviors-including gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and proximity. You Don't Say is the first book to explore the misunderstandings that often arise between the sexes due to nonverbal communication-and to show readers how to say what they mean and get what they want. At last, they'll discover why actions speak louder than words-and what to do about it.

Features helpful tips on:

Â€ Achieving intimacy in marriage
Â€ Taking one's career to new heights
Â€ Getting the most out of the relationships in one's private and professional life
Â€ Becoming a better parent
Â€ Enhancing even the smallest exchanges throughout the day

Customer Reviews:

Great, easy-to-read, informative book.......2007-08-09

This is one of the easiest reads, packed with the most information. The topic of body language is fascinating because it is something we encounter on a daily basis. Although subconsciously we take cues from body language, it's something that we don't consciously observe and understand. This book brought to my attention different aspects of body language, particularly eye movement and actions that allow one to understand what someone is really saying. If you fear reading a self help book, fear not, because this is not one. There are "prescriptions" for people to help them, but the book doesn't ask the reader to "look at him/herself in the mirror..." etc. If you're at all interested in communication and psychology and want to understand body language, this is a great introduction (although that really is what it is - not cluttered with technical terms and confusing psychological theories), and I would definitely reccommend picking this up.

my friends are askin me for this book..........2005-03-14

what else can i say? the title says it all. this is a very informational at the same time educational book. you will find out that you are strange to this world, strange to the human race after you read it. there are so many ways of communications that happen around us and that were simply neglected, obscured, exaggerated or even distorted because so many of us didnt know the real meaning, well this book, will turn the lights on for you and help you explore the gestures, body languages, actions and some other things that only your unconsciouness will notice.

Excellent, Useful and Provocative!!.......2004-03-23

Audrey Nelson, in a very personal way, has laid out many aspects of communication and behavior between the sexes that I had not acknowledged. This excellent book increased my awareness about different facets of communication that are obvious (and some not so obvious), that I had not previously given recognition or attention. "You Don't Say" has helped me professionally in my project management consulting career, as well as personally in my daily interactions with my family, friends, and colleagues. I recommend this provocative and personably written book, full of colorful stories and examples, to everyone I know. Audrey's useful portrayal of this topic is applicable to anyone who has to communicate with males and females. I look forward to her next book!

Sophisticated and useful analysis.......2004-03-15

The issue of gender and nonverbal communication is complex. Dr. Nelson provides an analysis of nonverbal communication as it relates to gender in a way that sufficiently captures its complexity. Drawing on research and anecdotes from her own experience and that of others, she provides information about this issue in a sophisticated way. But she doesn't stop there. She goes on to suggest how to make use of this information to improve personal and professional communication. I found the book very useful.

understanding womanspeak.......2004-03-07

A great insight as to why men and women "hear" things differently from one another. It's fascinating to realize that the sexes approach communication from completely different sets of perspectives. This book has given me insight into my own inabilities to make myself understood by the women who surround me, at work and at home.
I would recommend it especially to managers and employers seeking to integrate a more holistic approach to communication between the sexes in the workplace.

Customer Reviews:

Men Demystified!.......2002-05-06

Are you in a fog about the opposite sex? I sure was. I'm a busy single mom and I read this clever book in two hours! Finally, I know the really important differences between men and women. I feel empowered!

A guide to the differences between men and women? Whatever........1999-12-08

This book definately has some entertainment value, but I don't think that is why people are reading it. Hello people! If you're going to believe an author because she wrote a book, you need some help. Did anyone take the time to look at her sources? Cosmopolitan, People, Good Housekeeping...these are just a few. There is very little research to back any of the assertions that are made in this book. Yes, the book does make some valid points, but stop trying to break the world into strictly masculine and feminine. After reading this book I felt like I fit more of the characteristics of a man than a woman. Whatever you (the readers) do...please do not take this book to heart. There's little support, and keep in mind that the author is not conducting actual experiments or observations to validate the points. This book gives all of us that actually research psychological issues a bad name.

Sexual Visions: Images of Gender in Science and Medicine Between the Eighteenth and Twentieth Centuries (Science and Literature Series)

Average customer rating:

the unveiling of women

Sexual Visions: Images of Gender in Science and Medicine Between the Eighteenth and Twentieth Centuries (Science and Literature Series)
Ludmilla Jordanova
Manufacturer: University of Wisconsin Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | World | History | Subjects | Books

General | History & Philosophy | Science | Subjects | Books

Anatomy | Biological Sciences | Science | Subjects | Books

Medical Ethics | Physician & Patient | Medicine | Subjects | Books

No Magic Bullett: A Social History of Venereal Disease in the United States Since 1880 (Oxford Paperbacks)
Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud

ASIN: 0299122948

Customer Reviews:

the unveiling of women.......2000-11-15

If you are interested in womens role in art and science then this book is definitely for you. This book is hard to put down as each essay involves you in an articulate vision of how women were involved in dissection, wax modelling etc in the eighteen and nineteeth century.It explains how acts of violence were (and still today) are acted upon womens body to find the truth about science for doctors and scientists knowledge. Also about the unveiling of women and how this involves man and the scientific field.

He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women

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He's OK She's OK: Honoring the Differences Between Men and Women
Jeannette Lofas , and Joan Macmillan
Manufacturer: Tzedakah Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Book Description

This is a book about men and women - with a twist. In our society's honorable attempts to end the unfair treatment of women, we are sometimes less honest about confronting scientific facts about gender differences.

Be Loved for Who You Really Are: How the Differences Between Men and Women Can Be Turned into the Source of the Very Best Romance You'll Ever Know

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Fresh Perspective on Differences
Never fail at Love?!
the magic of differences
Where to turn for advice about love that works? Here!
Finding Love And Romance

Be Loved for Who You Really Are: How the Differences Between Men and Women Can Be Turned into the Source of the Very Best Romance You'll Ever Know
Judith Sherven , and James Sniechowski
Manufacturer: St. Martin's Griffin
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

Love & Romance | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

General | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books

The New Intimacy
Opening to Love 365 Days a Year
The 8 Essential Traits of Couples Who Thrive
The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy
Why Talking Is Not Enough: Eight Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage

ASIN: 0312313187

Amazon.com

At a time when it's popular to believe men and women come from different planets, the husband and wife psychology team of Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski takes a far different approach in Be Loved for Who You Really Are. Using case histories, examples, and exercises from their own marriage and 14 years as relationship trainers, the authors suggest that individual and sex differences are not the source of relationship problems. Instead, they assert that true intimacy can be found in mapping and acknowledging differences as relationships ripen with time. You can't hurry love, say Shervan and Sniechowski, who counsel couples to understand four predictable passages to lasting love. These passages include "A glimpse of what is possible," "The clash of differences," "The magic of differences," and "The grace of deep intimacy." In each stage, couples are discouraged from hiding their differences or manipulating their partner to change, and rather are persuaded to encounter each other in genuine, unguarded ways. The book would have been strengthened with less New Age vocabulary and more examples from the authors' marriage, but overall, this is a wise and intriguing guide to creating a lasting love. --Barbara Mackoff

Book Description

Based on their fourteen years together as relationship trainers working with over 100,000 singles and couples, husband-and-wife team Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski have developed a truly new and original approach to relationships. Be Loved for Who You Really Are describes how differences between partners can be a source of under-standing and intimacy, enhancing rather than destroying a relationship. Readers learn to recognize the process of under-standing differences, and what is necessary to keep lovemaking and romance alive for a lifetime. Be Loved for Who You Really Are is a road map to the challenges and payoffs of predictable passages that love will take any couple through-with the promise of deepening connection and lifelong romance.

Customer Reviews:

Fresh Perspective on Differences.......2002-12-30

This book is a refreshing alternative if you are worn out from trying to change, mold, or manipulate yourself or someone else into being what you want in order to fit your romantic picture. The four part model takes the reader through the stages to help learn to embrace rather than resist differences between people in intimate relationships. Jim and Judith, a married couple, use examples from their own marriage as well as cases from their practice to teach us how to discuss and appreciate differences. A couple who really walks their talk emphasizes getting back to the basics of fun and love so your partnership can grow and flourish.

Never fail at Love?!.......2002-02-14

This is not your run of the mill "how to" book on love, but a book that guides you through the spiritual journey of how to love and to be loved. The authors share personal anectodes, and stories of other couples, which helps brings the book to a real personal level. They send the message that, if you honor your self and others, you can never really fail at love...what a beautiful thing!

the magic of differences.......2002-02-11

This book is a great read for individuals or couples who want to explore the path of twists and turns in relationships. It is one of those books you want to read and re-read. Very enlightening -very helpful in making a plan to stay together.

Where to turn for advice about love that works? Here!.......2002-02-01

Reading this book is like journeying to the most exciting "school of life" imaginable -- to learn painlessly, thoroughly, and once and for all, about making love work.

Understanding the five stages of love, as explained by Doctors Sherven and Sniechowski, will help you more in your daily life than anything you've ever read, seen or experienced. This time you're going to get what you need. It's thrilling. And it works.

I've read this book so many times, that my mind automatically goes back to it whenever I get to a troubled point in my marriage. But don't troubled times in a marriage vanish after reading this book? Uh uh. This book is about human beings, not ethereal spiritual creatures. The point is, though, that being troubled about inevitable differences between two people DOES vanish. And that frees you up to actually work on your differences and find a way to turn them into greater intimacy.

Be Loved for Who You Really Are is so different from anything else I've read. It's lively as hell and anything but pedantic. The authors are people first, doctors second. They put themselves into the book. That means, right from the outset, you aren't alone. They're right there with you -- sympathizing, empathizing, encouraging, supporting -- and most important -- guiding and informing.

I love the underlying theme of this book; you can't fail at love. That isn't hype. The book lets you see how, if you put yourself out there in a real and clear way, you might not always get the results you want, but you won't fail. You won't let yourself down.

Read this book if greater intimacy is one of your most important goals. This is a brilliant, simple and wondrous roadmap to how to give yourself the greatest gift of all -- being loved for who you are.

Finding Love And Romance.......2002-01-14

Be Loved For Who You Really Are shows how differences between lovers can be turned into a powerful source of lifelong love and romance. The Mrs. and myself, having read the book, have discovered that the differences between us need not divide us - and in fact, can bring us closer together. For myself, I have learned to understand that the things she does that I used to let drive me up the wall are in fact the very things I love her for. Most important, Judith and Jim showed each of us how to examine what our part is in the miscommunications that go on all the time. Seems that finding romance with your mate is not a matter of changing them to your expectations. It's really about changing your own conceptions of yourself - and stretching yourself to accommodate others. This leads to a condition known as Intimacy, a quality I feel we could all use more of - instead of that other feeling we confuse with intimacy - Intensity. If you're like me - and I figure I'm no different than you - you have no doubt discovered what little power you have in changing the things he or she does that you don't like. You'll therefore be "knocked out" when Judith and Jim show you how to have an enormous amount of power in changing yourself. And once both partners take a good look at themselves - and give up the Blame Game - they each bring a new and romantic intimacy to their relationship. This book shows you how to achieve such. Be Loved For Who You Really Are teaches how to celebrate each other's differences, and how to co-create your own unique relationship. For Who You Really Are has put and end to 90% of the battles in our house. We have begun to learn to talk to one another, to reveal ourselves - and become bigger people in the process. I know I've become bigger, and it's not just from all that Haagen Daz! I've found out that I'm not such a hardheaded pig as I once thought. And my mate has discovered a softer side that makes me want to be more romantic. The style of Judith and Jim's writing takes the pain out of the process. Read this book, and it will take the pain out of finding love, understanding, romance and most important, yourself. Gotta go now. Martinis for me and the Mrs. - both of us, now shaken and stirred.

Intimacy Cover Up: Uncovering the Difference Between Love and Sex

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I wish I had read this book before I got married...
Christian propaganda...

Intimacy Cover Up: Uncovering the Difference Between Love and Sex
P. Roger Hillerstrom
Manufacturer: Kregel Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Religion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books
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Intimate Deception: Escaping the Trap of Sexual Impurity

ASIN: 0825428947

Book Description

A straightforward, biblical approach to the why's and how's of sexual abstinence before marriage by a counselor and his twenty-something daughter. Includes relevant, non-offensive discussions about some of the most common intimacy myths.

Customer Reviews:

I wish I had read this book before I got married..........2004-08-25

If you are one of those so-called free thinkers who is not willing to consider the validity of the Christian perspective on this issue, don't waste your money. You will just be annoyed and won't learn anything. But if you are truly open minded enough to consider that Biblical restrictions on sex are in humanity's best interest rather than the punitive actions of a Cosmic Party-Pooper, this is one of the best books I have ever read on this subject, and one I wish had been available to me 30 years ago before I was sexually active.

My husband and I married in our thirties. We were not Christians in our youth, and everything that implies. So we were a little smug when it was suggested to us that we should receive some counseling in the area of sex before our wedding. It wasn't long after we were married that we discovered that everything we thought we knew about sex and love was wrong. In fact, it only took a couple of weeks. Moreover, it continued to be an issue throughout our marriage. We found out through the school of hard knocks why God strongly prefers that we confine sexual relations to marriage. Both spiritual reasons and "practical" reasons to avoid premarital sex are explored in this book, and I can confidently testify that the authors have told it like it is.

If, by some miracle, you are the sort of person who can learn from someone else's mistakes and do not have to plunge headlong into your own disaster to discover that God's Word is still true in this area, you will save yourself considerable heartache if you will read this book FIRST. But chances are, if you are a young person you will not fall into that category. Parents, read this book and get it into the hands of your Christian teens BEFORE they have a chance to stumble. You might be surprised to learn how susceptible YOUR well-mannered, godly, soul-winning teen is to the siren song of the world.

Christian propaganda..........2004-05-11

I was very disappointed by the author of this book, who uses the excuse of the difference between sex and love to make a propaganda for forbidding sex before marriage, for forbidding cohabitation before marriage. The difference between love and sex is essential (I would refer to Patrick Carnes and Charlotte Kasl), but it should not be the ground for rigid intrusiveness of the religion. Yes it is important to learn that sex is not love, yes it is important to reconnect spirituality with sexuality but no it does not mean that sex before marriage is wrong (regardless of marriage or not, sex should not be the foundation of a relationship).

I was particularly shocked when the author used statistics to show his point of view about (against) cohabitation. The author mistakes a successful (sexual) relationship with a lasting marriage (w/o divorce). I know so many cases of couples who never divorced, but which I would never consider as successful (physically or emotionally abused partners, etc.).

The author confuses commitment with the life of a love. I would invite the author to read Jacques Salome's books, where Jacques Salome describes that a love has a life (a birth but also an end), and as people changes through life, through experiences, it does not make any sense to be stuck in a commitment when the commitment no longer makes sense. It is not a way to escape commitment, it is simply an open-minded view (unlike the author's rigid concepts) over the unexpected, over the miracles of life. Yes, a true intimacy but also a true self-love are the essential ingredients to a successful relationship. Like Karl Menninger wrote, sex is not wrong but how we value (or disqualify) sex which makes is constructive or destructive.

As a conclusion, please do not buy this book, please do not read this book. If you want to learn about the difference between sex and love, I strongly recommend you read "Women, sex and addiction" by Charlotte Kasl and "Out of the shadow" by Patrick Carnes.

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