Book Description
How does an honor student at one of Los Angeles's finest prep schools–a nice girl from a happy, loving home–trade school uniforms and afternoons at the mall for speedballs in the back of a truck in rural Indiana? How does her devoted mother emerge from the shock of finding that her daughter has not only disappeared but had been living a secret life for more than a year?
Mother and daughter tell their parallel stories in mesmerizing first–person accounts. Claire Fontaine's story is a parent's worst nightmare, a cautionary tale chronicling her daughter Mia's drug–fueled manipulation of everyone around her as she sought refuge in the seedy underworld of felons and heroin addicts, the painful childhood secrets that led up to it, and the healing that followed. Her search for Mia was brutal for both mother and daughter, a dizzying series of dead ends, incredible coincidences and, at times, miracles. Ultimately, Mia was forced into harsh–but–loving boot camp schools on two continents while Claire entered a painful but life–changing program of her own. Mia's story includes the jarring culture shock of the extreme and controversial behavior modification school she was in for nearly two years, which helped her overcome depression and self–hatred to emerge a powerful young woman with self–esteem and courage.
Come Back is an unforgettable story of love and transformation that will resonate with mothers and daughters everywhere.
Customer Reviews:
This book haunts me 6 months after reading it!.......2007-10-16
This is the most profound book I have read in 2007. I think about it often and my book group seems to revisit it every month even though we read it 6 months ago. This is a raw story of healing and torment, not self indulgent or too self absorbed like many other acclaimed memoirs. I loved it and could not put it down
Awful but captivating and well written.......2007-10-07
This is the horrific story you hear about - young girl, seemingly on the right track with caring parents, suddenly displays amazingly self-destructive tendencies.
The difference is that this story is told by both mother and daughter in clear sections that also flow well. Both mother and daughter write their tales well, and you can see the growth happen through the story. The catharsis is not sudden; the recovery is not fast. It is hard work to achieve the well-deserved forward momentum they have at the end of the book.
There is also a small amount of revenge - not nearly enough, but just a little to make you almost smile.
It's a terrible tale that deserves to be told. It is told well. I wish the best to both authors of this book.
(*)>
I fell in love with this book.......2007-09-11
I truly love both Claire and Mia. I really related to Claire as a mother myself of teenagers and I related to Mia from when I was a teenager. Their stories parallel the lives of my Mom and I but to a lesser degree. Wonderful book!
Review.......2007-09-10
I really liked this book. There were a few "boring" parts, but all together I would highly reccomend this book!
save your time.......2007-09-05
This book offers nothing new about mother/daughter relationships or recovery/ rehabilitation ... and the highly mediocre writing style is the icing on the cake.
Book Description
In Lose Your Mother, Saidiya Hartman journeys along a slave route in Ghana, following the trail of captives from the hinterland to the Atlantic coast. She retraces the history of the Atlantic slave trade from the fifteenth to the twentieth century and reckons with the blank slate of her own genealogy.
There were no survivors of Hartman’s lineage, nor far-flung relatives in Ghana of whom she had come in search. She traveled to Ghana in search of strangers. The most universal definition of the slave is a stranger—torn from kin and country. To lose your mother is to suffer the loss of kin, to forget your past, and to inhabit the world as a stranger. As both the offspring of slaves and an American in Africa, Hartman, too, was a stranger. Her reflections on history and memory unfold as an intimate encounter with places—a holding cell, a slave market, a walled town built
to repel slave raiders—and with people: an Akan prince who granted the Portuguese permission to build the first permanent trading fort in West Africa; an adolescent boy who was kidnapped while playing; a fourteen-year-old girl who was murdered aboard a slave ship.
Eloquent, thoughtful, and deeply affecting, Lose Your Mother is a powerful meditation on history, memory, and the Atlantic slave trade.
Customer Reviews:
Extraordinarily Insightful and Eloquent.......2007-07-22
A deeply moving combination of history, personal memoir and deep reflection,particularly on the heroic and aspirational legacy of slavery as seen by this wonderful writer.
Spectacular.......2007-03-26
Saidiya Hartman takes us on a journey that is intense, tough and thoroughly rewarding. Impressively, she learned as much about herself as she did about the past she sought, even more.
The beauty of going with her on this journey is that the reader has the same magnificent opportunity, hypnotically led by the author, to ponder and to gain personal insight perhaps too long submerged.
Brilliant!.......2007-01-18
Lose Your Mother is a story that weaves geneology with African American history. It's intimate and powerful, touching and complex. Universally connecting, it is a story of alienation and hope.
Roots 2.0.......2007-01-17
What "Roots" was to the Boomer Generation, "Lose Your Mother" could and should be to the Generation Next. Saidiay Hartman's writing styles fits perfectly for a generation that longs for and loves narrative, story, and first-hand journal accounts.
However, no one should thus assume that Hartman's writing lacks research credibility for she brilliantly weaves both rousing narrative and copious research to portray a powerful picture of one of history's ugliest stories: Middle Passage. She provides a fresh account of ancient wounds.
Hartman's book can and should make a renewed contribution to the healing of past hurts which still linger deep. Her passionate style and scholarly depth can help a nation move beyond suffering to healing hope.
Reviewer: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., is the author of Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction, Soul Physicians, and Spiritual Friends.
Book Description
"Will you take her?" she asks.
When Beth Nonte Russell travels to China to help her friend Alex adopt a baby girl from an orphanage there, she thinks it will be an adventure, a chance to see the world. But her friend, who had prepared for the adoption for many months, panics soon after being presented with the frail baby, and the situation develops into one of the greatest challenges of Russell's life.
Russell, watching in disbelief as Alex distances herself from the child, cares for the baby -- clothing, bathing, and feeding her -- and makes her feel secure in the unfamiliar surroundings. Russell is overwhelmed and disoriented by the unfolding drama and all that she sees in China, and yet amid the emotional turmoil finds herself deeply bonding with the child. She begins to have dreams of an ancient past -- dreams of a young woman who is plucked from the countryside and chosen to be empress, and of the child who is ultimately taken from her. As it becomes clear that her friend -- whose indecisiveness about the adoption has become a torment -- won't be bringing the baby home, Russell is amazed to realize that she cannot leave the baby behind and that her dreams have been telling her something significant, giving her the courage to open her heart and bring the child home against all odds.
Steeped in Chinese culture, Forever Lily is an extraordinary account of a life-changing, wholly unexpected love.
Customer Reviews:
I wanted to like it, but..........2007-09-15
As the mother of a daughter adopted from China, I try to read as much in this area as I can, and encourage others to do the same, but... I'd recommend skipping this one.
Occasionally, I have read others' adoption stories and have been disappointed in them, but in this case I was disturbed.
I was hoping for a Karin Evans-like story (Lost Daughters of China) that pulled together the dreams and the realities of the author's bonds with the child. That didn't happen. More disturbing than that was the story of how Lily became the author's child and not that of the mother who was intended for her. This is an atypical adoption story (I hope)- one of disruption, of difficulty bonding, and sadness and depression.
Please, if you're considering adoption from China, read something less contraversial than this option.
I want the hours back I spent reading this.......2007-08-27
I thought the author's writing style was pretentious and self-absorbed. I found myself skimming over passages (not just the dreams) to wade through the "calligraphic" sentence structure she uses that is often overdone. While imaginative in the very least, it a tool she used with a heavy hand.
This story is on it's own is valuable, but the telling of it has stripped away much of it's meaning for me.
The author was under INCREDIBLE stress during her trip to china!.......2007-08-22
I agree with most other reviews that the dream sequences were a bit long and made me wonder many times where the author was going with them. However, I think the adoption story overall was great. This women simply went to China to be a travel companion for a "not-so-close" friend. Her views of China and Chinese people and culture were not that of an adoptive parent, but that of a tourist. A tourist who was under a great deal of stress the entire time she was in the country. She hadn't spent two or more years researching China and learning about the culture like all of us who have read this book trying to do just that. There are several references to past lives, and even a reference or two to tarot cards and psychics (I am an open minded person who has also spent time learning about that subject as well, so these references didn't make me look at the author as "weird"). To those of you trying to figure out if you want to buy this book: It's worth your time to read it.
Very disappointed in her poor portrayal of China and the Chinese people.......2007-08-16
I just completed this book last night and was very bothered by what I read. While the interplay between Alex and Beth is interesting, I was horrified by her descriptions of China and her pereceptions of the Chinese. Although she asserts that the reason she was invited on the trip was because of her travel experience, I would venture that Beth has NOT traveled extensively abroad and especially not in Asia. I think she viewed the country and people through very American eyes and that can not and should not be done. They are not American and we are two very different cultures. As such we are going to have different beliefs about democracy and freedom. She complains of being jostled about and stared at but these are normal occurences in China. The pushing in the market places was not a reflection of what they thought of her, because I doubt little thought went towards her. I'm glad she ate most of her meals in the hotel or she would have been quite surprised at the pushing that goes on while at a buffet!
She viewed the treatment of the orphans at the orphanage as neglectful. I believe they are probably doing the best they can with the resources they have available. The reason the babies are seated on the benches is to allow them to be up and interact with other children, but also to prevent them from falling and hurting themselves. Which is worse? The poorer more rural orphanages do not receive adequate support from their government which is why they rely on the $[...] orphanage fee from the adoptive parents.
I understand as an adoptive parent she wants to define the incredible connection she feels to her daughter, but the dream sequence goes beyond straining credulity. It was a distraction to the story and just another thread to force us to believe this was meant to be.
For someone who feels so strongly connected to China, asserting on some level that she is Chinese, I was appalled by her lack of knowledge of the country, people, culture and beliefs. In the epilogue she tells of visiting Hong Kong with her now 6 year-old daughter. She writes "your very presence frees them of their guilt, Lily; perhaps you understand this." Perhaps in China this would be true, but Hong Kong operates as a separate entity. The citizens of Hong Kong do not know the plight of the orphans in China, why would they? That is another country's problem. The preference for males does not exist in Hong Kong. They have no population control (no 1 child laws).
As a person who has traveled extensively,spent time in these countries, and has friends from both Hong Kong and China I was disturbed that the author did not spend more time learning about the place her daughter came from. Maybe she felt that these omissions made for a better story, but I am bothered that people with no first hand experience with China or the Chinese will read this book and make unfair judgements based on one woman's story.
A real gem!.......2007-08-08
I found this gem of a book in an airport bookstore and it made a long layover and plane trip seem to "fly" by. I couldn't put it down. My favorite part of this beautifully written story were the vivid and detailed dream passages. Integral to the unfolding of the story, the dreams offer a glimpse into the author's psyche, subconscious - her very soul. The author's willingness to invite the reader along on her inner journey is what sets this book apart from other memoirs. Without the dream passages, this book would be little more than a travelogue through China that leads to adoption. I applaud the author's courage in sharing her amazing story and am richer for having read it. If you are open to reading about beliefs, experiences and a perspective that may be different from your own, you will enjoy this book.
Book Description
Like Dead Man Walking and The Cloister Walk, this stirring book is a story of spiritual transformation, one that is all the more remarkable because that transformation took place late in life. For nearly thirty years, Mother Antonia has lived in Tijuana's La Mesa prison, where she ministers to some of the most maltreated inmates on earth. But before she took up her calling at age fifty, the Catholic nun was a Beverly Hills socialite who had been married and divorced twice and raised seven children. In chronicling her journey, The Prison Angel demonstrates the power of radical kindness to change the human heart.
Customer Reviews:
A Saint amongst us.......2007-10-11
I read this book in several sittings which is unusual for me. I just couldn't stop and wanted to read some more of this fascinating story. It is a feel good story for the modern ages. If you are reading this you probably know about the former Beverly Hillls mom , twice divorced who was unable to receive Holy Communion from the Catholic Church, circumvented any road blocks and began her service for mankind(the most down and out of low people in La Mesa prison near Tijuana)and our Lord at age fifty. She produced her own habit and eventually was recognized by an official order. She has worked amongst the biggest drug dealers of Mexico, the murderer of Presidential candidate Colosio, the bloodiest of assasins and the peons who are just to poor to live in society and seek refuge in jail(now that is desperate)and the mentally ill. A prison in Mexico is unlike an American prison. Torture is common. She got involded in prison reform as well as changing men. Mother Antonia is unafraid of the toughest and meanest because she is a righteous woman and all who encounter her love and admire her. She lives in prison. She lives the same way the prisoners do. She walks and talks to the hardest of hard core. She gives them hope and transforrms many of their lives through the miracle of faith. This is an inspirational story that will leave you pondering your own existence; it is truly an amazing story that all should read as it will make you feel better about mankind. She is truly a living saint. Oh yes, there is a large print edition of this book available for the visually handicapped. God bless Sister Antonio and all who she touches.
Truly living a Christian Life.......2007-06-10
This is a very inspirational book and helps people see how they can still be useful as they get older.
Great read!.......2007-03-20
The Prison Angel is one of the most inspiring books I've ever read. Mother Antonia is so amazing that one would question the truth of her story if it weren't for the consistent witness and corroboration provided by all those who come into contact with her. She loves and ministers to everyone without distinction. This is a great book for teaching the golden rule.
Inspirational Life.......2007-02-24
Mother Antonia is an inspiration for us to see all people as fellow humans with similar needs - to be cared for, loved, and accepted. I appreciate that she paved the way to be valuable at an "older" age, and she welcomes women in their later years as valuable and able to serve others. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and passed it around among many friends.
Best Book I have Ever Read.......2006-10-07
This book touches your soul and uplifts your spirits. You would dare to judge another person after reading this book about a woman who could forgive and love the "unlovable." Very touching
Customer Reviews:
The high Risk of Intercultural marriage step by step by gifted writer.......2007-08-22
Anyone contemplating intercultural or inter country marriage should read this riveting day by day account in this book written by gifted writer Patricia Sutherland prior to their marriage decision. I have heard several first hand accounts of marriages similar to this but none so well documented with the frequent letters of the struggle during and after the romantic period. I am absolutely no expert on marriages but it appears to me after reading this harrowing account that the potential destructive variables of the intercultural marriage require very thoughtful consideration.If the maxim that opposites attract,and apparently this is true, it is bound to happen again and again. This micro example and marriage was the ultimate demonstration of a totally free spirit and liberated young beautiful American woman clashing with traditional Muslim values and Royalty was a disaster waiting to happen.This individual situation demonstrates the total major conflict and lack of understanding at play in the world today between Islamic Law and women.
A very insightful and well written book that should be required reading for couples from different cultures and countries during the pre-marriage counseling stage.
Most modern marriages and love bonds are also complicated by religious,racial,value differences and this world view problem is well documented in this book. Every Minister,Priest,Rabbi,Muslim,Hindu,etc should have a copy readily available in their reference library and read this book before giving agreement to preform a intercultural marriage ceremony. Even though Patricia tried extremely hard to adapt and become a total part of the culture and religion that was not enough to ultimately preserve the romantic bond and love between she and her Prince who turned
quickly into a rat.I suspect he always was but kept it well hidden.
The narrative and story actually turns frightening as the author describes her daily efforts to assert herself in the dangerous Malaysian setting.She is lucky to have escaped intact with her three beautiful children and her life.This is an excellent tribute to her personal Northern Michigan strength and a adventurous read written by a obviously gifted survivor.
A Must-Read.......2002-11-19
I absolutely could not stop reading this true story about Patricia, who falls in love with and marries a prince of Malaysia. She thought all of her dreams had come true, but then, after having two children with this man, he abuses her and the children. Through letters written to friends and family, you will gain a profound understanding of domestic abuse, child abuse, and child custody battles which transcend international boarders. I found myself outraged by the curruption and injustice allowed in Malaysia and I was shocked at the blatant prejudice against Westerners that her ex-husband, Mahmood, perpetrated. As I read this book, my heart was breaking for Patty and her children as they had to endure years of separation, confusion, and fear in a country where women have few rights, and the court systems are corrupt. Patricia's determination to be a part of her children's lives by facing down the entire Malaysian system, and then finally escaping to the US with them, is an inspiration. Her continued instistance on being a loving force in the world in spite of all of the betrayal and cruelty she has endured, is also an inspiration to us all. Your buying and reading this book will help raise consciousness in the world.
Book Description
A mother knows when something is wrong with her child. If the problem is physical, she takes the child to a doctor. But if the problem is a misunderstanding of her child's mind, where does she turn for help?
This is Ben's story.
He was a happy, healthy boy -- a mother's dream come true. Yet by the age of three, Ben's development was significantly delayed: He couldn't make sense of the simplest phrases, and he still hadn't started talking. When Karen Foli finally took her son, Ben, to a speech and hearing clinic, she was told that he was "probably retarded and perhaps autistic." But Karen knew that Ben was highly perceptive, even frustrated by his inability to communicate. Trusting her "mother's intuition," Karen set out on a journey to learn the truth about her son's condition....and what she found was APD.
A person with auditory processing disorder receives jumbled and distorted sounds. But the ability to hear is usually normal. Even though it affects millions of Americans, APD can be difficult to diagnose and challenging to treat. Through years of research, and personal interviews, Karen Foli learned everything she needed to know about APD in order to help her son achieve the greatest gift of all: communication. Like Sound Through Water is her story -- winning, inspiring, and true.
Download Description
Ben was a bright, happy little boy. Yet he was easily distracted, he wouldn't make eye contact, and he couldn't comprehend the simplest things said to him. At age three he still hadn't started talking. Finally, Karen Foli knew she had to act, and she took her son to a speech and hearing clinic. What the clinicians reported chilled her: Ben's speech and language were delayed by one to two years. Testing results and speech therapists suggested problems that included the words "probably retarded and perhaps autistic." But Karen, trusting her mother's intuition, knew that Ben was intelligent and that he was frustrated by his inability to communicate, so she continued to try to help her son. She discovered that he possessed the hallmarks of auditory processing disorder, the aural equivalent of dyslexia. Like Sound Through Water is the story of Karen's struggle to get Ben the help he needed to learn the most basic skill of all: to communicate with the world. She ran the gauntlet of medical disbelievers and pediatric therapists who refused to understand the very new Þndings of auditory processing disorder. Even her husband, a psychiatrist specializing in children's afþictions, had never heard of APD. Despite this, he kept a steadfast faith in his son. Now, after years of intensive treatment for APD, Ben is an academically successful, hardworking little boy with a bright future to look forward to. Like Sound Through Water is a testament to a mother's love and her devotion to her son's care; it is also an instructive journey for those who are discovering the world of APD and a guidebook to negotiating the land mines of its treatment. Above all, it is a beautifully written tale of hope and optimism.
Customer Reviews:
An Insightful Book.......2007-07-25
The book was insightful, easy to read. I couldn't put it down. The book is written from the family's perspective as their child is identified with a disorder. It relates the family's stuggles for correct diagnosis, treatment and support. A must read for early childhood specialists who assess and work with young children with special needs.
A must read for teachers.......2007-05-25
Because I couldn't NOT find out how their journey turned out, I was up until midnight last night with Karen Foli, Ben, and their family. Besides being Every Mom, Foli is a solid thinker, a strong communicator, and a mystery writer. This book unfolds like a popular novel, so you stand right next to the protagonist as she unravels the issue of APD, finally getting diagnoses and treatment.
This book is on my short list for young teachers, along with Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence, Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic,Change Your Brain, Change Your Life: The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Anger, and Impulsiveness, and Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about the Emerging Science of Sex Differences. Like many of these books, Like Sound Though Water reflects how rapidly improving technology can and should change the way we teach. Like all of them, this book will help teachers empathize with families. APD can be very frustrating for everyone, including harried classroom teachers. When you've worn yourself out trying everything to hook a kid, it's easy to blame family or the kid himself. This book will help you keep your eyes open for other causes for classroom difficulties.
Okay, now I'm going to get on my soapbox: I think one of the reasons I had to stay up so late reading this was that I was internally screaming "Someone get this kid to an audiologist!" I was totally not surprised that the first person to recognize processing problems was a lady who ran a little church basement kindergarten, and I firmly believe that if Foli had Ben in a public school first, the problem would have been identified sooner. Public school teachers are required to have more training and diversity in our student population is not just country of origin. We've seen more.
Anyway, great book for all readers but especially parents, teachers, and medical folks.
From one mom to another.......2007-03-25
My 3rd grade son was just diagnosed with auditory processing disorder and I found this book to be informative and a pleasure to read. My son's condition isn't as severe as the author's son's; however, I could identify with her frustrations before the diagnosis. The author brought up 2 new treatment strategies that I was unaware of-Fast ForWord and Earobics. I have already recommended this book to friends and would highly recommend it to anyone interested in APD.
Clueless in Indiana.......2005-06-08
I find the events surrounding Ben's development tragic. With a psychiatrist father and nurse mother, they ignored SIGNIFICANT signs. Toe walking, unintelligable speech at THREE, severe separation anxiety, textural issues with food, sensory overload. This book makes the case for effective early intervention, being an effective advocate for your child (stop denying and placing blame on the husband) and finding the right resources. Newsflash: APD is NOT new and the lack of evaluators and educators who were unfamiliar with this learning disability is alarming.
This book was self-indulgent. One got tired of reading the distances traveled to get Ben evaluated and help. If that's what it takes when you have a special needs child, then that's what you do. Glad I got it from the library and didn't pay.
VERY TOUCHING STORY.......2004-12-30
WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL EVALUATIONS WITH OUR NOW FIVE YEAR OLD SON. THESE DOCTORS PROBABLY COULD FILL WALLS WITH THIER DIPLOMAS, YET NO ONE COULD TELL US WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS. THEIR ANSWER - OVERALL DEVELOPMENTAL DELAY CAUSING SPEECH DELAY. WE SOMEHOW KNEW BETTER. I READ THIS BOOK AND CRIED KNOWING THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WERE GOING THROUGH. THE BOOK IS VERY TOUCHING TO READ ANOTHER MOTHER'S ACCOUNT OF STRUGGLING TO HELP HER SON. WE FINALLY SAW A SPEECH THERAPIST WHO SPECIALIZES IN CPD - SHE RECOGNIZED THE SYMPTOMS RIGHT AWAY.
Book Description
After Kyles death, he wasted little time in coming to his mothers aid. His hundreds of escapades from the spirit world are undeniable and mind-boggling. Whether with the help of psychic John Edward or by himself, Kyle will have you laughing at his antics. By accompanying Kyles family on this eye-opening journey, you will accelerate your own path through the darkness and into the light.
Customer Reviews:
Too incredible to be true............2007-07-27
From reading the reviews here, I thought WOW! Maybe I'll find comfort here. I lost a daughter to suicide in March 2007, so I've been desperate for answers and I do believe in life after death....but this book is just too much of a good thing. Within 3 months of losing her son, the author claims to have had 50 or more 'communications and signs' from her son. Not only her and her husband, but most of his ex girlfriends, and even strangers keep getting signs from her son. She is constantly getting phone calls from people, son's friends and ex girlfriends, etc. saying they recieved a 'sign' from her son. And I've only read 65 pages of the book! Way, way over the top.....too many 'signs from beyond' to be true.
Interesting, Informative, Intriguing, Inspirational.......2007-03-29
Unfortunately, the blind faith offered to us by orthodox religion doesn't offer much comfort to those who have lost a loved one. Orthodoxy has our loved ones floating around in a humdrum heaven or gnashing their teeth in some horrific hell. Real faith - conviction - comes from direct contact with those alive in the spirit world, as was the experience of Judy Collier, the author.
Collier's son Kyle was killed, at age 26, in an auto accident in 1996. Collier found the grief unbearable until she started receiving veridical messages from Kyle through mediums Mary Jo McCabe and John Edward. "It was my first confirmation that there might be more to life than the physical world," Collier writes of an early contact through McCabe.
The skeptics claim that the messages coming through clairvoyants are trivial and mundane, but as Collier was to realize it is this type of message that is most evidential. Some of the information communicated was unknown to Collier and therefore telepathy or mindreading was ruled out.
"Knowing your loved one lives on, as I have been given proof of over and over again, makes Kyle's not being here with us more tolerable," Collier further states. She also came to learn that excessive grieving can hold a soul back from learning and advancing in the hereafter; hence, the title of this of this interesting, informative, intriguing, and inspirational book.
Wonderful Story.......2006-03-16
I purchased this book when it first came out after talking to her husband at his place of business. I got chill talking to him and purchased the book. If you are uncomfortable with this type of book just remember that they were originally referred to a local intuitive (and author), Mary Jo McCabe, by a nun.
Amazing Journey.......2002-09-16
From the title to the last pages, this book was comforting and a must read for anyone dealing with the loss of a child. It is well-written, funny, and pulls at your heart strings. Thanks Judy and Kyle for sharing your story!
A "Must Read" For Anyone Who Has Lost a Child.......2002-05-19
I would like to recommend this book, "Quit Kissing My Ashes" by Judy Collier. It is a "Must Read" for anyone who has lost a child. I lost my child in August of 2001. Reading this book convinced me that I was not going "crazy" receiving my "angel" signs from my little Christie. This book only proves that our loved ones are with us all the time, and our signs, no matter what we feel or believe, let us know that our children stay with us, even when they have "crossed over" to the other side. Judy Collier relates to her readers all her signs she and her family have received from her son, Kyle. Judy lets everyone know that there is life after death, and if a person truly believes and lets themselves feel, that these signs will just keep being received by those who have the faith that God's love is truly present at this sorrowful time. I, for one, know this is abosolutely true, even though I admit that my little angel tries to tell her mom to "Get a grip" as maybe I take "signs" a little too far. But, you know, if it makes me feel better, what the heck!!! When a loved one dies, especially your child, a person has to dig really deep and learn so much more. Thank you Judy for writing this much needed book, to let us all know we are not crazy!!! Most importantly, thanks for letting us all realize our children are okay. I believe all parents only want their children's happiness and peacefulness with no worries or pain. Now, I realize my angel and many others have this. So, I tell others, when you see us cry, it is not for Chrisite, but for us who, of course, miss her so deeply. But is she okay?? You bet, and I can't wait till our entire family will one day be together again. Read this amazing book and feel your own signs at your time of grief. With faith in God, and listening to your innermost feelings, you too will realize what Judy herself tries to convince others what she has truly felt and come to believe on her amazing journey--our kids live on and they are okay.
Amazon.com
More than 20 years have passed since Ellen DeGeneres came out to her mother on a beach in Mississippi. Stunned, Betty DeGeneres could only think of her own disappointed expectations. As she put her arms around her daughter, she was struck by the realization that she would never see Ellen's picture on the engagements page of the Times-Picayune, her local paper. That Ellen would eventually appear on the front page of the Picayune and countless newspapers and magazines around the world is an irony not lost on her mother: "If I had known she was going to grow up to be Ellen DeGeneres," Betty quips, "I would have taken more pictures."
Now the spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project, Betty DeGeneres travels the country explaining how she came to terms with her daughter's sexuality, and how love and acceptance can transform a family. Love, Ellen is an extension of her warm and much-admired public speaking, providing insight into her own life as well as Ellen's and arguing for further education, compassion, and the passage of antidiscrimination laws. --Regina Marler
Book Description
"Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay sons and daughters can change their parents' lives forever. Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but it was not without a struggle. In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story: the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, the media's scrutiny of their family life, and the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project.
Insightful, universally touching, and uncommonly wise, Love, Ellen is a story of friendship between mother and daughter and a lesson in understanding for all parents and their children.
"Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.
Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.
With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone."Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.
Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.
In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.
With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone.
Customer Reviews:
good read.......2007-08-22
gave me insight into the feelings a mom would have learning of a childs homosexuality. An easy read.
Love it!.......2007-08-07
A great book for Ellen lovers, and parents of gay and lesbian people, and for really anyone. Book came fast and it is a great read!
An Ordinary Family.......2007-06-01
Love Ellen is a beautiful story about the unbreakable bond between mother and daughter. No matter how difficult the challenges faced by either Betty or Ellen their love has always remained strong proven in this eye opening book. So many times we read about celebrities lives and are only shown a small portion of their emotions as though they need to hide their most sensitive side from public view. Love Ellen is an exception to that as we see a side of both women as they truly are: sensitive, emotional and very human. Read for yourself the laughter, sadness and tears as you explore their journey together. You will come away with the realization that no matter how difficult your own struggles there is help for you if only you can open your heart and trust. As you get to know the DeGeneres family you will realize they are just as ordinary as the rest of us. I highly recommend this book for those who need help coming out, loved ones needing a better understanding of homosexuality and that it is not a choice, but rather just another side of many individuals and also to fans of Ellen's who just want to explore who she is and how she made some of the most difficult decisions of her life. This book is a very real account of the understanding we, as human beings who all share so much in this world, need to accept.
Unconditional love.......2006-09-06
What is it like to have a child who is gay? In this book, Betty DeGeneres describes the moment that her daughter Ellen came out to her and admitted the secret which she kept from her mother for 20 years. After learning that her daughter was gay, Betty herself was forced to keep this secret for 20 more years, before Ellen came out to the world. This is a book about a mother's unconditional love for her daughter and about how her daughter's sexual orientation caused a complete change in her life. It is also about Ellen's family and how she went from being a sweet, funny little girl from New Orleans to being one of the top actess/comediennes of our times. It is also about how mother and daughter went from keeping Ellen's homosexuality a secret to how they became activists in the gay/lesbian movement. Throughout the book, the loving and positive spirit of both Ellen and Betty become very evident.
Love, Betty! .......2005-11-28
It's simply one great book!
Betty is an outstanding author and mother.
Average customer rating:
- Did this author sleep through the 1980s?
- You are my heroine!
- Thank you!!!
- THANK YOU, TRISHA!!!
- Raves! Read this book.
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This Is Not Your Mother's Menopause: One Woman's Natural Journey Through Change
Trisha Posner
Manufacturer: Villard
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
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| Health, Mind & Body
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Menopause
| Women's Health
| Personal Health
| Health, Mind & Body
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General
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Similar Items:
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Natural Woman, Natural Menopause
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Healthy Transitions: A Women's Guide to Perimenopause, Menopuase, and Beyond
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What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause (TM): The Breakthrough Book on Natural Hormone Balance
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The Hormonally Vulnerable Woman : Relief at last for PMS, mood swings, fatigue, hair loss, adult acne, unwanted hair, female pain, migraine, weight gain, ... all the problems of perimenopause
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Natural Hormone Balance for Women: Look Younger, Feel Stronger, and Live Life with Exuberance
ASIN: 0375503986
Release Date: 2000-04-25 |
Book Description
"More than 20 million baby boomers will enter menopause during the next ten years. As modern women, we take control of our lives in a myriad of ways that our mothers never contemplated. Ap-proaching menopause, the one journey in life we all share, should be no different. Our mothers were largely silent about what happened to them as they passed through this midlife change. But a new generation of women has already started to break the wall of silence." --from the Preface
A few years ago, at forty-six, Trisha Posner left her annual physical feeling wonderful--until her doctor called to report surprising news: Although Posner had not recognized her own symptoms, her blood tests indicated she was in full-blown menopause. When her gynecologist urged hormone replacement therapy, Posner balked, fearing it might increase her risk of developing breast cancer, which had already struck her mother and two aunts.
This Is Not Your Mother's Menopause traces Posner's quest for an alternative to a woman's usual choices: take hormones (as most doctor advise), or do nothing and risk the deterioration of her heart, bones, and mind. In frank and engaging prose, Posner reveals how she developed a personal program to counter naturally the annoying symptoms of menopause, like hot flashes and headaches, as well as the more serious problems, like depression and loss of sexual desire. Ultimately, her unique regimen--built around exercise, diet, and nutritional and herbal supplements--not only eliminated her symptoms but significantly improved her health and quality of life.
(continued on back flap)
(continued from front flap)
Trisha Posner's journey is a powerful reminder that women must be informed consumers about menopause, and proves that this passage affords a gateway to physical, spiritual, and emotional growth. Candid, at times irreverent and humorous, but ultimately empowering, This Is Not Your Mother's Menopause reveals how one modern woman took control of her health and her life with inspiring results.
Customer Reviews:
Did this author sleep through the 1980s?.......2005-01-04
According to Posner, reducing fat intake, running, and weight training are a really great way to lose weight and reduce menopausal symptoms. She expresses great suprise about this, which makes me think that she slept through the 1980s. Who wants to pay for yet another book that discusses this subject in great length without adding a single new thing?
I found the author's perspective rather difficult to take. She repeatedly makes reference to her wealth, yet make no reference to how expensive her herbal recommendations are. She repeatedly makes the point that men are attracted to her still, that everyone is shocked that she's old enough to be going through menopause, and that her husband is the most supportive man on earth, which, frankly, he seems a bit creepy in the book.
If you're not bothered by her narcissicm and ignorance of excercise and diet information popularized in the 70s & 80s, you might find value in her herbal recommendation, so long as you can afford the hundreds of dollars it will cost you each month.
Instead, I recommend: New Menopausal Years : The Wise Woman Way by Susun S. Weed.
You are my heroine!.......2003-02-26
After reading some of the enthusiastic and grateful reviews for this book, there is little that I can add. Clearly, everyone who reads Trisha's tale is able to extract something that aids female life in today's world. Apart from cessation of hot flashes following Trisha's suggestions, the most important information for me was that menopause does not immediately throw ladies into the visage of dried up sexless old crone. No one should start gulping hormones in fear of losing youth and good looks--Trisha has blazed the trail for all of us, looking much, much younger than her years and living and loving life.
Thank you!!!.......2002-12-29
I had heard about this book but when I went to get it in the hardcover it was out of print. Well, when it hit my local bookstore in paperback, I got a copy and devoured it in a few hours. It's been a lifesaver! Thank you Trisha for not making menopause into the negative journey that most books cast it as, and thank you for not only giving those of us who fear hormones a choice, but for so clearly setting forth a natural path that works. Since going on Trisha's regimen, my hot flashes are history, and I feel much better and in control (not to fail to mention 12 lbs lighter on the scale!)
With all the new news on hormones, this book is a MUST for any woman approaching menopause!
THANK YOU, TRISHA!!!.......2002-01-25
I have long been troubled by the two available sources of menopause advice: 1) questionable medical research relying on broad generalizations and possible drug company resources; and
2) women who have "passed through," and present their experiences as if they had just fought the Gulf War single-handedly.
I've never trusted "research" on HRT, and I'm very tired of the "rite of passage" horror stories.
There's also the unasked question--HOW DO WOMEN WHO ARE CURRENTLY VERY PHYSICALLY FIT AND EATING WELL FARE IN MENOPAUSE?
Those of us who have been following many of Trisha's suggestions for years are lumped in with all other women and told we're going to shrink/dry up/get fat/fall apart at exactly the same rate as the rest of the female population. I don't buy it. And I'm glad Trisha has written a quick, personable, and very readable book about the alternative opinions and options.
I'm 52 and I've been resisting HRT now for several years. I work out for an hour six or seven days a week--I'm a black belt in Shotokan Karate. I welcome Trisha's suggestions for the non-HRT path. I'm with you, Trisha!
Raves! Read this book........2001-08-20
Anyone facing menopause either directly or indirectly (you men out there could benefit from reading this book, too) should read Trisha Posner's account of her own battle with the changes being forced on her, and how she dealt with them. From the most common - hotflashes - to the least - auditory hallucinations (one which I have experienced) - Posner lists the symptoms and side effects of menopause in a highly organized and informative way.
Posner's own interest in a less clinical approach to menopause arises out of her family's history of breast cancer. She had a very real fear that hormone replacement might trigger cancer in her own body, and so she went out to research the alternatives. She's a professional researcher, and has done the research for her husbands books on history and current events. She is meticulous in her work and it pays off for her readers here in the assurance that she has thoroughly investigated the available information on each aspect of menopause.
While she never prosletyzes for any regimen, she does outline her own program very throughly (exercise, nutritional supplements, particularly soy; dietary changes) explains the thinking behind each point, and gives the reader an honest assessment of her progress. It is not her intention to persuade any of us that this is the right way, only to show that there are always alternatives to medical intervention for treatment of menopausal problems.
Her research is persuasive, her plan of action one that virtually anyone could follow. That doesn't mean that everyone will be won over to her way of doing things, but that's okay, too. The benefit of this book is in its wealth of information, not in any plan or magical formula. I recommend it for anyone who wants to understand this life passage a little better, and recommend it highly for those who want to take more control over that passage.
Book Description
Fashion designer Dana Buchman tells of her daughter Charlotte's severe struggle with learning disabilities and of her own steep learning curve to become the mother Charlotte needs her to be
Dana Buchman knew almost nothing about "learning differences" when her oldest daughter, Charlotte, was diagnosed with neurological, spatial, and motor skill disabilities as a toddler. Furthermore, from the Ivy League to the launch of her own fashion label, Buchman had encountered few obstacles that couldn't be overcome through hard work and determination. Unfortunately, Buchman's well-developed ability to "fix" things would not serve her in her efforts to deal with Charlotte's disabilities; she would have to develop a new skill set to be able to see Charlotte as a person with unique abilities.
A riveting and intensely personal memoir, A Special Education reveals the long and arduous process of Charlotte's development as well as Buchman's own path to self-discovery. Confessing frequent anxiety, guilt, frustration, and anger, Buchman describes the difficult search to find the right school and care for Charlotte and the strain the process put on her marriage and family life. In addition, Buchman tells of her own struggles with excessive drinking and workaholism-and of finally letting go of her drive to be "perfect."
A moving mother-daughter story, A Special Education is an inspiring account of one mother's journey to acceptance and understanding as well as a family's triumph over daunting circumstances.
Customer Reviews:
I was jealous and distracted!.......2007-08-24
I could relate to Buchman's experience as a mother, as a mother of a disabled child. I think all of us have gone through similar emotions and struggles. What was distracting for me - and perhaps I missed the point of the book because of it - was how easy it is for wealthy people like Dana Buchman to get prompt and expert help for their children. In fact I am resentful of the fact that I can't afford THE BEST therapy treatments for my daughter at this time, and we have no nanny, specialists, or private schools TO CHOOSE. So you see it is not really a choice at all. While learning disorders and disabilities can effect ALL children, SOME parents and children have MORE OPTIONS to deal with it. The rest of us have that much more suffering to go through.
A Special Education.......2007-04-24
Having a child with special needs, it was comforting to read a memoir of what another has gone through dealing with this situation; the ups, the downs, the good, the sad. Also loved the last chapter. It is written by her daughter. That was very moving. When I finished the book I was encouraged for the future!
The Emotions Run True.......2007-04-20
As the mother of a 10 year old with learning differences -- and yes, that IS what we refer to them as in 2007 -- I felt as if I was reading my own story. Denial. Fear. A drive to *cure* my child, who cannot be cured. Sometimes describing him to others in terms of his disabilities, instead of as the incredible, talented person that he is. Buchman doesn't have any answers; there ARE NO ANSWERS. But it is tremendously helpful to read about her feelings and her journey, to know that we're not alone.
Some comments have criticized Ms. Buchman for using her considerable financial resources to help her child, or have indicated that her story cannot be universalized because of her wealth. That's simply not true. Buchman points out that she had her daughter evaluated by the NYC Dep't of Education, and that she was receiving resources from them. In fact, Charlotte's high school, Churchill, accepts DOE funding, and I believe that a substantial percentage of its students are placed there with tuition paid by the DOE. The LiPS program that Charlotte took in California is also now available throughout the world. Finally, one poster criticized Buchman for not insisting that her daughter be mainstreamed. While my son is mainstreamed, its not one size fits all. Most of the parents I know who have children with more extreme learning differences, like Charlotte, prefer a special school, where all of the teachers know about learning differences, and are specially trained to deal with them.
Dana never discovered LD's best asset -- The Institutes For The Achievement of Human Potential or Founder Glenn Doman's books.......2007-01-19
Although I found this to be an interesting book, even with all of the assets behind these parents, they never discovered the importance of creeping and crawling for brain development.
The rich resource of The Institutes For The Achievement of Human Potential near Philadelphia that would have shown them how to better help their daughter was missed.
I believe Dana said her daughter did not crawl, but she never seemed to find out or understand how critical creeping and crawling are to brain development.
The Institutes would have taught her that, either though direct benefit of their program at the Institutes or doing the program at home, and making use of their many books and other educational materials, specifically Glenn Doman's superb book What To Do About Your Brain-Injured Child, which was published for the first time in January 1974, with several updates since then and available here on Amazon.
It sems that an intensive search trying to help her child would have turned up this world renowned Institute, which has programs not just for the brain-injured child, but also for the well baby. If you want to help your child or grandchild, please see these resources I have mentioned and read their books.
The Institutes books, programs and materials will help by far more than this book, which really seemed to show the parents in a better light than they probably deserved.
They didn't seem to make an all out effort to help their daughter because they were so busy with their careers and head in the sand approach.
The most unfortunate thing then is that Dana's book about Learning Disabilities was written without being able to point parents and educators to this rich resourch of The Institutes For The Achievement of Human Potential. (see [...])
Please look [...] up on the web and here on Amazon, their founder Glenn Doman for all of his superb books, which I can't recommend enough----especially over this one which offers little concrete help for the parent, grandparent, or educator who needs all the help available.
Inspiring,easy to read and Educational........2006-11-30
This was an inspiring ,and eye opening exploration of the problems of children with special needs. It's a "must read" for both the parents of such children, and all who need positive inspiration during these troubled times!
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