Gun Monkeys

Book Description

Charlie Swift just pumped three .38-caliber bullets into a dead polar bear in his taxidermist girlfriend’s garage. But he’s a gun monkey, and no one can blame him for having an itchy trigger finger. Ever since he drove down the Florida Turnpike with a headless body in the trunk of a Chrysler, then took down four cops, Charlie’s been running hard through the sprawling sleaze of central Florida. And to make matters worse, he’s holding on to some crooked paperwork that a lot of people would like to take off his hands. Now, with his boss disappeared and his friends dropping like flies, Charlie has got his work cut out just to survive. If he wants to keep the money and get the girl too, he’s really going to have to go ape...

Nominated for the Edgar Award for Best First Novel, Gun Monkeys is a fast, furious collage of wit and wise guys, violence and thrills—and a full-throttle run through the dark side of the Sunshine State.

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Charlie Swift just pumped three .38-caliber bullets into a dead polar bear in his taxidermist girlfriend's garage. But he's a gun monkey, and no one can blame him for having an itchy trigger finger. Ever since he drove down the Florida Turnpike with a headless body in the trunk of a Chrysler, then took down four cops, Charlie's been running hard through the sprawling sleaze of central Florida.

And to make matters worse, he's holding on to some crooked paperwork that a lot of people would like to take off his hands. Now, with his boss disappeared and his friends dropping like flies, Charlie has got his work cut out just to survive. If he wants to keep the money and get the girl too, he's really going to have to go ape...

Nominated for the Edgar Award for Best First Novel, Gun Monkeys is a fast, furious collage of wit and wise guys, violence and thrills -- and a full-throttle run through the dark side of the Sunshine State.

Customer Reviews:

Like revving your engine at an intersection..........2007-06-12

...and then stalling when the light turns green.

I read Gischler's PISTOL POETS and loved it. The witty dialogue, twist-filled plot, hilarious characters, and tight tension hooked me from the beginning and wouldn't let go. I laughed and held my breath in equal measure, and couldn't wait to devour more of Gischler's work. So it was with high expectations that I dove into GUN MONKEYS, hoping for much more of the same.

The result was like my morning commute: Frustrating, long, and full of stop-and-go traffic.

I caught some glimpses of Gischler's burgeoning talent in MONKEYS, notably the few instances of comic relief and the occasionally well-written visual. But really, those are the only comparisons I can draw between MONKEYS and POETS. Where POETS had humor by the bucket full, plot twists like a wound rubber band, and fresh, captivating characters, MONKEYS had a long story spent watching the hero traveling hither and thither to little effect other than inducing boredom in the reader. The prose in MONKEYS was stiff and oftentimes clunky, like it could use another go-around with the editor's pen. The mystery itself is somewhat intriguing, and it kept me interested in learning who was behind the book's shenanigans and why.

But my interest had grown exhausted after the first 100 pages. If I hadn't liked POETS as much as I did, I'm not sure I would've finished GUN MONKEYS; it feels like a limp warm-up to POETS by comparison. So if you'd like to see exactly what Gischler is capable of, skip GUN MONKEYS and go straight to the good stuff in PISTOL POETS.

Twenty-First Century Pulp.......2007-04-27

Charlie Swift is a gun monkey, hired muscle for an old mobster named Stan who runs Orlando. Charlie knows he's a bad guy and just accepts it as his lot in life because of his skills with his fists and a gun. He lives by a strict code of honor: when you throw your lot in with a guy, you stick; otherwise you're just an animal. That's why when things suddenly go bad, Stan disappears, and Charlie's friends are murdered, Charlie, a guy who'd trained himself to unquestioningly take orders, suddenly doggedly starts searching for some answers. Charlie isn't used to thinking for himself, but he's a trained professional who's good at his job, and since he's up against a cadre of thugs and goons, brutality is the way to get to the bottom of things anyhow.

He meets Marcie on the job, the ex-wife of a man he was paid to kill. Marcie isn't sad to see the last of her ex, and she and Charlie hit it off, even if he is creeped out by her career in taxidermy. She helps him decipher a pair of ledgers he wound up with that everyone else in Orlando seems to want, since they're the complete accounting records of mob boss Beggar Johnson who has come up from Miami to take over Orlando. He's also assisted by big thug Lou, otherwise known around the monkey cage as New Guy, after Lou narrowly escapes the bloodbath that took out all their other friends. They work together to figure out what happened to Stan, all while everyone else from the cops to the feds to rival gangsters is trying to get their hands on the ledgers.

I can't remember the last time I read a book wherein the protagonist offs quite so many people, including Serge A. Storms. For Charlie, however, hurting and killing people is a job and he's rather dispassionate about it, though not unaffected. He's also fiercely protective of his mother, his younger brother Danny, and anyone he considers an ally. Though Charlie is not a guy I would want to meet in an alley, he's a very likeable sort on the page. He does bad things, but those things are all done in his world, purposely held apart from the rest of polite society.

A lot of bodies piled up in this book, but it was not luridly graphic, and the violence was more of a backdrop to what was happening in the story, while still being an integral part of it. This is a very fine example of modern noir, twenty-first century pulp fiction that, unfortunately for me, costs a lot more than a dime. I'm glad I bought the entire Gischler collection, and will savor each and every one. For a nice, gritty break from the mainstream, Gischler delivers a winner.

Love Me Daddy.......2006-09-18

A killer for a local mob boss, who is also the goon's surrogate daddy, kills his way through a long tedious book. There is time out for a little love interest with a woman who understands and aids his need to sow lethal mayhem whenever his "daddy" tells him to. Bloody meaningless shootouts (not fully explained), continue as the Miami mob trys to take over "dad's" Orlando territory. Our hero starts looking for "dad", who has gone missing, with lethal results for scores of unknown and meaningless characters. Its a one dimentional tale that never caught my interest. Unless you enjoy keeping track on your abacus of an ever rising body count with no interesting tale attached, give this one a bye for your own good. Life is too short to waste your time on books like this.

Get Ready for a Very Bumpy Ride.......2006-06-28

It's almost impossible to review this book without explaining the whole book itself. This book reads like something by Charlie Huston or Jeff Walters. It's detective noir with a funny bone. Our hero(?) kills more people quicker than the Terminator and with a weird attitude to boot.

All the Hookman wants to do is sit in the monkey cage in the back of the bar and play Monopoly for real money. When he's needed, he will get a call from his boss Stan and go off to break some legs or shoot someone in the head. Except for cleaning his guns he really doesn't have a hobbie, but he loves his mom and his little brother Danny.

When the mob from Miami decides to take over Orlando, they begin by wiping out most of the gun monkeys. It does turn out that one of them is a turncoat (who of course our boy shoots three or four times before killing him). In between running from the hoods from Miami, he also spends time shooting his way out of bar full of crooked Federal agents.

Since he has so much spare time on his hands, he takes time to fall in love with the wife of a hood his murders (but it was by accident).

All in all it's good clean fun or bad dirty mayhem...or good clean mayhem...whatever. Great read.

A Trifecta of Bullets, Blood, and Sex.......2006-03-27

Charlie Swift is a hit man for the mob, an unrepentant career criminal who views his grisly vocation with detached practicality. As a former Army Ranger, killing is simply what he was trained to do. And killing is what he does, stacking up the corpes across central Florida's seamiest strip malls and strip joints as he tries to extract himself from a rival gang's setup, dodging some less-than-scrupulous G-men while trying to find his gangster boss gone missing.

Author Victor Gischler is the real deal; a hip and refreshing 21st Century twist on pulp fiction from the glory days of Hammett, Thompson, Chandler, and Block. While you'll see glimpses of Carl Hiaasen, Dennis Lehane, or Charlie Huston in his writing, Gischler's style is all his own. His cynical brand of black humor rolls unforced across the pages - an easy banter from a world where Kansas is "elevator music with grass" and people can be as dumb as a "bag of door knobs." His abominable menagerie of players - a hierarchy of thugs and mobsters, killers and con men - put in another day at the office with guns blazing and knives slicing - but Gischler offers neither apology nor passes moral judgment. He writes not to preach, simply to entertain. And if you prefer your entertainment hard-boiled, irreverent, brutal, and witty, "Gun Monkeys" sets a new standard for crime fiction. Kick back with this decidedly unPuzo-like saga of life within organized crime, and I can almost guarantee you'll be back for more Gischler in "Suicide Squeeze" and "The Pistol Poets."

Average customer rating:

La Jaula De Los Monos/ Gun Monkeys
Victor Gischler
Manufacturer: Tropismos
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Reference | Books & Reading | Literature & Fiction | Subjects | Books

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A Heraldýs voice from the Montana Wilderness!
bon voyage!
Odd and Interesting - but not revolting!
disappointed
A great birthday present

Monkeys With Guns
Wild Bill Righteousness
Manufacturer: Aventine Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Fantasy | Science Fiction & Fantasy | Subjects | Books
ASIN: 0974346837

Customer Reviews:

A Heraldýs voice from the Montana Wilderness!.......2004-07-13

Francis Bacon observed, "Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed, and digested." Monkeys with Guns, when tasted, first brings despair, then lust, and finally awe; when swallowed, starts diarrhea, continues with puking and concludes with ecstasy; but when chewed, has a crust repulsively flavored with the perverse satire of the dishonest politics and farcical statesmen of our times. Lastly, MWG possesses a rich center over-flowing with original solutions to real problems, and when fully digested, it restores faith, renews hope, and revalues charity. But be forewarned, it is both the honey and nauseating wormwood that the prophets dined upon and that eating this book will prove a one-way trip. This book must become your life and the object of every obsessive thought.
You see Monkeys with Guns is no ordinary book. Part novel, part prophecy, and part smut, but all Divinely inspired, this Book of Books is easily the most creative and thoughtful book to arise from the extreme spiritual, moral, and intellectual poverty of our times. The book would be unendurable if it did not also point the way to a better tomorrow - but first we must face the complete bankruptcy of our dying civilization and our abject failure as a species. (And make no mistake when the oil runs out we will be four-footing it back to the caves with our animal betters.)
Those who read this book at only the surface level will think it is a satire of the spin-doctor-driven administration of George W. Bush, of how God and his favored son exploit true believers, and of the confused ways of those believers. Even these superficial readers, however, will clearly recognize the signs of our times. Those readers who feel the mood of the book as a whole will understand that the darkness of a harsh and merciless apocalypse is necessary for inaugurating a new Divine Plan. Those who read the book only looking for certainty of salvation will find it, although they may have doubts about the quality of life after true salvation. (Let them remember that the ways of God are not those of man, and God does not exist to maximize our comfort!) Those who read the book to know what the strange things in the heaven mean will learn much that is joyful, if a little odd. Those who read the book to learn the details of God's plan for earth will find the novel more revealing than the Book of Revelations.
Those readers made schizophrenic by the separation of the spiritual realm from the realm of scientific experience, will find healing unity as God's plans are made for the real world, saving humanity from both the coming the man-made nuclear holocaust and the ruin of the environment by greedy men. Those readers who demand greater proof than was given to the Apostle Thomas will see that the book (which was written before the exposure of torture at Camp X-ray and Iraq) had pre-knowledge of the torture there. Is Wild Bill Righteous not clearly a prophet come in our time of doubting? Those readers who demand in proof Wild Bill's matching the challenge of the Qur'an to write ten verses of poetry better than those in the Qur'an to prove his spiritual authenticity, will read prose better and more vivid than the poetry of any known author in this or any other universe. Those proud readers who rejected Pascal's wager as unworthy as a foundation stone for faith will find that rejected stone glorified and used as the center stone of the true gateway to salvation. The reader, who can find no meaning in the universe and accepts the post-modernistic claim that all truths are equal but that none have value, will rejoice to see that there are more universes than there are claims to truth. Those perverse readers only wanting smut shall have what they seek and perhaps more than their limited faculties can imagine - for Bob the Nob and Wild Bill are the givers of every gratuitous gift.
Perhaps, a few believers who are satisfied with their current faith may think there is nothing in the book for them, but let them know that that this book is more than a novel, more than prophecy, more than smut, it is a new dispensation for mankind. Perhaps, a few non-believers will fear becoming believers after reading this book, let them be warned that there is no escape and no exit except through this latter day revelation. Perhaps, there are complacent believers who think they have all the answers to life and faith, and God will not change with the times or change the times; let them be warned that Bob the Nob and his Beloved Adopted Son have surprises in store for all. Yes, God and his Adopted Son are bigger than mankind's collective hip pocket!
Finally, some readers may be shocked to see questions of faith so boldly presented in such an immaculately conceived and innovative novel, let them be shocked and then rejoice that new wine has finally been placed in new skins. But, truly the time is growing late; the clouds are gathering; the Day of the Lord is at hand, and like Lot we must all get drunk with our daughters - for soon there will be no men left to service them - just Monkeys with guns.

bon voyage!.......2004-05-29

In general people in America(anywhere for that matter), don't appreciate having their economic, political and religious practices maligned. The many contractors and soccer moms who are driving the big, gas-guzzling SUV's, supporting America's growing courtship with fascism, and raping the environment for shopping malls and golf courses prefer to keep the old blinders on.
Consequently, there is no room in this world for a weird Montanan, Wild Bill, to be challenging the status quo with his grotesque and deviant stories (he's a bad writer, period). Furthermore, many Americans don't have the slightest interest or tolerance for any ideas or discourse that differs from their cherished norms (so those ideas don't exist, period).
The moral majority of old Israel had a solution for Christ's deviant behavior: They crucified him. After all, he associated with publicans and sinners and hinted that he was the Son of God. For the time, his practices were strange, shocking, and totally revolutionary.
Wild, Bill, if I were you, I'd find another foxhole to hide in. The same people who crucified Christ are still runing things, and no one in your neighborhood (Montana is it?) wants anything from you, but your hide on a fence post. There's probably not one good Christian nation whose inhabitants wouldn't gladly track you down and defenestrate you, except for that last bastion of madmen and malcontents:FRANCE. I sincerely hope that you can afford the ticket.

Odd and Interesting - but not revolting!.......2004-05-28

When a friend showed me this book, at first I didn't know how to place it. As a literature major, I'm familiar with a number of literary works with disturbing themes and imagery: 1984, Titus Andronicus, The Naked Lunch, Justine
Certainly, there are many works of literary merit that deal with vile subjects using powerful imagery. To believe otherwise indicates a rather narrow understanding of literature. Not all books, plays and novels are written for the mass market or easy consumption, (despite the tripe Americans typically consume). Some books have a larger message, perhaps one that we might easily gag on.
I never expected a book about the Apocalypse to have rosey imagery (who would?), but this book blew me away. Comedic arrows flash though the sexually twisted landscapes of a latter-day Bosche. I don't know if this is literature or if it has a real message of some type - or if Bill is some sort of prank- pulling gremlin, he at least has gotten my attention. Perhaps other readers should stick with King and his big ideas.

disappointed.......2004-05-27

I must say that I began this book excited to delve into the deeper workings of a Montana mind. I wanted so much to like this book, or at least see something in it which would provoke thought and contemplation. However, what I got were vile descriptions of even viler subjects. I get the feeling that "Bill" is increadibly creative as the writing is quite vivid. However, it seemed as though this writer got punished and perhaps even rejected for his/her disturbing topics in high school English class and now, because of the power of darker forces in this world, is able to indulge him/herself to the fullest extent of his/her terrible imagination all the while saying "Nah nah nah nah naaaaah nah!". While the premise of the book is intruiging, the actual content is repulsive. I hate to see a good writer (or a few good writers) gone bad! I would be interested in reading something by this writing crew with less terrible content - keep the topic and keep the vivid writing just please use your descriptive talent (I would almost say genius) for good. I would rather fall asleep on my desk at work than read this book.

A great birthday present.......2004-04-28

I thoroughly enjoyed "Monkeys with Guns." It is one of the best birthday presents I have ever received. While scholars of American culture will not find the social commentary new, it is vesseled within spectacular imagery. Much of said imagery is vile. I would not recommend this book to the mild, or prudish of heart. Those who can endure the shock waves, however, will be rewarded with a thoughtful allegory of love, faith, insecurity, and fallibility. While the prose and content seem to wander at times, I have yet to read a philosophically based book which does not. This is Montana style freedom art. Prone, yet fearless.

Average customer rating:

The Critic without a Clue
More than Monkeys, less than perfect
Amply and Lovingly
Insane as claimed.

MORE MONKEYS - MORE GUNS: Volume II
Wild Bill Righteousness
Manufacturer: Aventine Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Science Fiction | Science Fiction & Fantasy | Subjects | Books
ASIN: 1593304641

Customer Reviews:

The Critic without a Clue.......2007-09-13

As an avid reader and fan of Wild Bill and his recent outrageous dark comedy,
More Monkeys - More Guns, I must take fundamental issue with the Critic without
a Cause's critique. Starting first with the Critic's ad hominem attack upon the author, "Equally difficult to swallow, let alone digest, is the undiluted misogyny" of the novel. One would reasonably conclude that the Critic is calling Wild Bill a misogynist, for one who writes `undiluted misogyny' could and should logically be deduced a misogynist.
Such a judgment, however, should be regarded as naive particularly in rendering such a conclusion about the author's nature and/or intent in writing his satiric masterpiece. A true literary critic of any sophistication would certainly take the genre of the writing into consideration in his or her critique.
Certainly a critic who engages in a rather suspect form of ad hominem attack should take care in his or her use of language. The Critic without a Cause first states that the author is guilty of `undiluted misogyny' and then dilutes his own argument by observing two cases which might argue that the author has no such agenda. The examples to which the Critic refers is the chapter about the strong female scientist, Doctor Silvia Jenson - and the chapters dealing with Iggy Ignatz, a Martian psychogenic hermaphrodite. The Critic finds fault with the author, further signs of misogyny, in that
the strong, competent female is fairly quickly dispatched by a Martian brain parasite - and that the female persona of Iggy Ignatz, although strong and competent, is the silent partner of the two. Any truly impartial reader, however, might arrive at a less hostile interpretation of these characters and their plot manifestations. The case that Wild Bill is an `undiluted misogynist' is certainly undercut by the Critic's own arguments.
Furthermore, the Critic without a Cause in making his case for `undiluted misogyny' has engaged in a rather ham-handed case of card stacking by not noting the other examples in More Monkeys that argue for less, indeed a great deal less, than `undiluted misogyny'. A whole chapter of the book deals with Wild Bill's experience as a woman during his hormonal difficulties. The author notes that all of Wild Bill's greatest discoveries were made during this `no pun intended' period of her life. The Critic also fails to comment upon another major character, Freda Friendly, who has her eyes opened to her pointless servitude as a Sprall-Mart worker by Wild Bill. It is unclear how this plain, older, single mother's journey of discovery would argue for `undiluted misogyny', so the Critic wisely sidesteps any mention of her. The critic also fails to mention that Wild Bill declares one male character who abandons his pregnant girlfriend: a case of this world's ugly, Meat Machine behavior. It is hard to imagine an `undiluted misogynous' troubling himself to negatively comment about this present world's ugly behavior towards women.
Similarly, even the latter-day polygamist, John Donaldson, tasks his wives by not offering a solution when their Packard runs out of gas. Donaldson, reflecting on his own mother's spiritual weakness, wants his wives to grow in faith, and to become capable and competent individuals. It is important that these women both bring home and cook the bacon since the clearly psychotic and farcical Donaldson seems incapable of doing much more than pirouetting about in his sodden, be-crusted underwear. (He does, however, have pretty good driving skills.)
Lastly, one must take issue with the Critic without a Cause's use of the word `misogyny' that it is both specious and speciest. Although we see countless films and books that clearly traffic in this commodity, teen female snuff films and works like American Psycho, it is hard to equate this clear and egregious misogyny with any of Wild Bill's bizarre antics and deviant characters. If the Critic would have focused upon the numerous cases in the book of female disciples vamping around in diode-emitting thongs and gyrating, solenoid-propelled halters, he might have built a better case not for misogyny but sexism. Women in these examples are clearly being marketed as sex objects befitting the fantasies of clueless, besotted males, who fortunately or unfortunately reach into their nineties and can be seen nearly everywhere. This, however, is also the same form of sexism that is evident in the findings of male mating preferences: men primarily base their sexual selection on female looks. This sexism is also evident in the serial polygamy of a number of our presidential candidates and doctors with their strong preference for young, trophy wives. Sexism, in fact, may have a strong foundation in the survival of the species. Men who gravitated towards older, infertile women would never have passed on their form of sexual preference, their sexism, to future generations. This, however, is of no particular interest to Wild Bill, who professes to be a card carrying lesbian. Those of us who personally know Wild Bill can assure you that he is sexually gender blind.
So lastly, and once again for the second and last time, one may reasonably assume that the Critic without a Cause is at least sloppy or dishonest in his arguments, and really confused in his choice of names. He certainly has a cause and perhaps even an axe to grind. In researching the Critic's other critiques, it's interesting to note that he gave Wild Bill's prequel, Monkeys with Guns, a cautionary 5 stars. This book uses the same chaotic writing structure with which the Critic now seems to find major fault. The Critic also denounces the ugly chaotic world described by Wild Bill - a world of phony wars, corporate fascism, and upward mobility scheming - that he can not rationally tolerate. He evidently tolerated it (and lots of naked ladies besides) well enough in Wild Bill's first book.
While one can read 20 or 30 pages of Bill's More Monkeys - More Guns without encountering any overt violence towards anyone (yes, plenty of strange, perhaps sophomoric antics), one need only read several paragraphs of the Critic's critique before encountering violent ideation towards women, in fact (bizarrely) the Critic's own mother. (He ponders sticking a butcher knife into her ribs.) Using the Critic's same flawed and biased logic, how we can tolerate this clear case of `undiluted misogyny'? Isn't it time to light the faggots and go witch hunting? Or perhaps to be more politically correct, light some lighter-fluid-soaked rags and hunt down the scoundrels with the inappropriate `isms'. Perhaps, Wild Bill should put a warning on his novels: This book is not recommended for men or women not healthy enough for satire.

More than Monkeys, less than perfect.......2007-09-02

If literature was a nuclear reaction, and MORE MONKEYS - MORE GUNS a fusion bomb, the most pita-flop super-computer in existence would fail to accurately model its non-linear ideation blast. Nor could it define the radius of potential intellectual devastation. The reader can't help but think, must this not be True Revelation, or is the author just really, really crazy? And how can we tell? You soon note that you could shuffle together, like a deck of cards, the pages of MORE MONKEYS and the first book, MONKEYS WITH GUNS, without producing a more (or less) chaotic structure. This is perhaps the first example of fractal literature (or would that be literary hologram?).

In the book's beginning the reader will suspect the basest motives for writing it, since Mercer's compendium repeatedly promotes Mercer-nary gain in advertising for sale the first MONKEYS book (of books). But reading further it becomes apparent that monetary flow to Wild Bill is part of the plan for human salvation in the scattered Prototopiae, after the one-world, Bush-headed oligarchy has imploded all earthbound cultures. This lends realism to a book where it's desperately needed, while falling short of persuading you to send actual money to Mr. Righteousness.

The abyssal leap of faith required of potential devotees of Wild Bill, even for the book's characters given their various epiphanies, puts spiritual revelation well beyond reach of the masses. Not that MORE MONKEYS suggests that salvation is meant for the masses; to the contrary it is only for a handful of the faithful, chosen for their ethnic diversity rather than an understanding of the Master's philosophy or their potential ability to successfully transmit it to others. Apparently we must all arrive at enlightenment on our own, from whatever source is available, and hope that it opens the door to Prototopia. If we cling to fallacies that the book rejects, like cause and effect, for us the front door of Prototopia opens directly onto the trash heap of Darwinian failure.

The reader needs persistence to wade through the soul sapping, mud-slurping morass of sexual, moral and political deviancy. And yet the unending din of corruption strikes a chord. It makes you remember, as a fourteen-year-old, wondering how it would feel picking up that butcher knife on the kitchen counter by your mother and just slipping it between her ribs. If this chaotic book is the representation of reality that it pretends to be then pushing that knife in almost makes sense, if for no other reason than to save your mother from the world.

Equally difficult to swallow, let alone digest, is the undiluted misogyny. In an explosion of disparate characters only two women have any independent will and the first immediately loses it through infestation by a Martian symbiotic organism. The second is one of a pair of personalities, the other male, occupying by turns an hermaphroditic human body, but we only know her through listening in on the internal monologue of her male body partner. Even though she is the much more capable of the two she only manifests, sans personality, when the going gets tough. We are expected to accept as utopian a future which is populated by a handful of socially dysfunctional men surrounded by bevies of mostly nude female eye-candy. This type of revelation, disappointingly, can already be found in traditional, patriarchal, misogynist religions.

Like the first MONKEYS book, it takes a reader of exceptional constitution just to read MORE MONKEYS, but for those of such constitution--although it requires occasional amendment with strong liquor--this book is worth the effort. The promise of the next forthcoming piece of insightful, wry social commentary alone can keep you struggling forward. Even so, I suggest long intervals of rest which include petting a dog or some other grounding activity. I would give it more stars but for the inaccessibility to those of lesser fortitude. And because more of a good thing is not always better, not even MORE MONKEYS.

Amply and Lovingly .......2007-08-20

Wild Bill's third book, "More Monkeys More Guns" takes a small step back from the extreme raunch of it's predecessors "Monkeys with Guns" and "Tropic of Canada," but delivers a sharper, more poignant social commentary on America. As always, the writing is slippery and witty. The story replaces the typical arms-in-the-air wailing, popular on the ever-converging fringes of today's anti corporate political arena, with a twinkle in the eye, and a knowing wink and a nod. The Author clearly has something to say, and wants to play while delivering his dark message. Think Phillip K Dick meets John Waters.
Politically conscious, sexually liberated readers will enjoy this book, not only for its important themes, but because it is humorous and intelligent. Do not feel inadequate if you have not read the previous two books. Wild Bill's latest member joins enrapture with fresh areas in your brain that never knew what they were missing.

Insane as claimed........2007-05-18

On Monkey's front cover, the novel claims to be criminally insane. Well finally there is some truth in advertising - not only are the interweaving, bumper-car plots insane, the characters are insane too. I never thought I would be interested in an adventure story about a 55 year old out-of-work, Mormon male, but now I am. Ditto, for the Sprawl-Mart greeter and the counter-register old maid. Talk about insane, in the future United States of Earth, prisoners get serviced by prison hookers and high tech CEO's get to screw the working dead. Readers would be criminally insane if they didn't buy this book - and equally criminally insane if they did! There's really no of escaping Wild Bill and his roller coaster ride into the real America.

Average customer rating:

Fairy Tales meet reality....
Harlot's Ruse
Esther M. Friesner
Manufacturer: Warner Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Mass Market Paperback

General | Fantasy | Science Fiction & Fantasy | Subjects | Books
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Customer Reviews:

Fairy Tales meet reality...........1997-07-15

Friesner does a marvelous job of combining the elements of romance and fantasy into one to create this not-quite-storybook tale. It reminds me a bit of the style of adventure found in The Princess Bride, but quite a bit more down to earth. This is what happens when it ISN'T all happy endings anymore.

For more fabulous Friesner works, check out Chicks in Chain Mail, Did You Say Chicks!?, and Chicks 'N' Chained Males. She is the editor of this series and adds some of her own short stories to the mix. Not recommended for the under 17 crowd, not for the faint of heart, but not smutty, either.

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I Heart This Book

A Motivational Workout Guide

Judith has a new blog!

Great Attitude

Many better books out there.

Smart Girls Do Dumbbells
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ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Luna Bars, Nutz Over Chocolate, 1.69-Ounce Bars (Pack of 15)

ASIN: 1573223867
Release Date: 2004-04-06

Book Description

Most women have dieted and exercised their entire lives. It's always the same yo-yo story-lose the weight, gain it back, over and over again. Or they'll lose most of the weight but they can't burn off those last stubborn 5-10 pounds. Or they've got very intense exercise regimens-personal trainer and all, but still they don't have the results they've been looking for: tight buns, strong arms, and a flat belly. The reason for this is that no one, until now, has been as qualified as Judith Sherman-Wolin, Exercise Specialist at the UCLA Center for Nutrition, to reveal the secrets of dumbbells. Sherman-Wolin has developed a fast, easy dumbbell program that anyone can do at home and can set up for less than it costs to go to a gym every month.

Customer Reviews:

I Heart This Book.......2007-08-30

I have many weight training books for women but this book is always in my gym bag and has gone with me to many gyms over the years. My copy is very loved and very used. The layout of this book is easy to follow. The first chapters concentrate on motivation and getting you prepared for weight training.

The stretching, ab and weight exercises have gray edges so you can reference them quickly and not fumble through the book. My favorite feature is her recipes. A workout recipe consists of your instructions for the day. It gives the number of the exercise and with that number you go to the gray pages to look up that exercise.

Each exercise has one to two pages dedicated to it to instruct you about how to do the exercises. The reader will be informed on form and technique. She also gives a chart of how many reps to do for beginner, intermediate and advanced.

The charts and other great features in the book are very easy to follow. Charts/features in the book include:

-Prices for different types of dumbbells (she tells you how to build your weight set for under $100)
-BMI chart
-Aerobic calorie burn
-body evaluation log (body measurements)
-daily dumbbell workout schedule
-exercise readiness questionnaire
-FAQ section.

I don't prefer machines when it comes to weight training. I want the resistance and the strength I get from the combination of me and the weights. The day by day plans are easy to follow and sometimes it doesn't even take me 30 minutes. I feel great and accomplished when I finish a recipe. I can do this at home or at the gym and don't need any fancy equipment.

A Motivational Workout Guide.......2007-04-10

Get started weight training and keep at it with this great workout guide for women. Learn various exercises and be inspired to stick with it.

Judith has a new blog!.......2007-03-30

I've fallen in love with the fantastic books (smart girls and muscle your way) and I've just discovered that judith has a health and fitness blog with a wealth of information. Not only that, but you can ask her questions about her books and fitness and she'll write you a personal response! Check it out at

[...]

Great Attitude.......2007-02-14

I love this book, I go back to it over and over. I do weight training now with a trainer, and the more I learn, the more this book just feels "right" to me. Great attitute, really gets you wanting to lift weights~

Many better books out there........2006-02-07

I'm not sure why this book is so popular. I have read many books on weight training, some written specifically for women, some gender-neutral. I found this book lacking in valuable instruction, limited in its exercises with less than half of the pages actually devoted to the exercises themselves.

I will say it has some good basic tips on form and some of the charts in the back are useful. But overall, if you are looking for a good weight training book that will guide you through the beginning phase and keep you interested, motivated and educated, I think there are better books out there.

Amazon.com

Plated desserts--artfully arranged confections prepared from multiple components--are a modern restaurant mainstay. In Grand Finales, authors Tish Boyle and Timothy Moriarty present 53 such creations, the work of 23 leading American pastry chefs who have been challenged to make "neoclassic" versions of traditional desserts. Thus, for example, tart tatin, the venerable French apple galette, is reconfigured by chef Lincoln Carson as Pear Tatin with Vanilla Ice Cream and Caramel Sauce. Like the other recipes in the book, the pear tatin requires multiple subpreparations (in this case 5, though 7 to 10 elsewhere is not unusual); frequently large recipe yields (72, in one case), ingredient quantities given by weight, and restaurant-ingredient "call-fors" (like isomalt and trimoline) further alert us to the fact--unstated--that the book is for professionals. This said, general readers may well be intrigued by the talent and technique on display in 105 color photos of the unquestionably gorgeous desserts, and by the useful, often fascinating information on pastry history and production that the book provides.

Organized by classic dessert categories or fare, the book offers a wide range of "reinterpretations," including White Chocolate Key Lime Tart, Passion Fruit Baked Alaska with Coconut Marshmallows, and Ginger and Quince Napoleons. A preliminary chapter introduces readers to the chefs--among them (in addition to Lincoln Carson) teacher and baking-book author Nick Malgieri, Jacquy Pfeiffer and Sebastien Cannone of the French Pastry School, and Chris Broberg of Manhattan restaurant Lespinasse. Offering insights and personal vignettes, the chefs help spin the historical and pastry-career investigation that follows. An illustrated chapter on sugar work concludes the book, along with a glossary of classic dessert types. These latter sections are valuable resources in themselves, and should engross all dessert makers, from the home-based to those who produce, or want to produce, stellar restaurant sweets. --Arthur Boehm

Book Description

"A Neoclassic View of Plated Desserts demonstrates both the subtle and theatrical pizzazz of a talented collective of visionaries." -Andrew MacLauchlan Executive Pastry Chef, Coyote Cafe "A brilliant addition to Tish Boyle's and Timothy Moriarty's series of cookbooks. This dynamic duo has thoroughly translated the recipes of some of our country's leading pastry chefs with immense ease and perfection. It is with enormous admiration that I recommend this cookbook to anyone searching for a greater knowledge of desserts." -François Payard Owner, Payard Patisserie & Bistro Author, Simply Sensational Desserts "It is the purpose of a neoclassic dessert to isolate the integral elements of a time-honored classic and transform its components to produce a dessert with the grandeur demanded by today's consumer. The pastry chefs who contributed to this book have provided recipes that do just that-and they do it magnificently!" -Bo Friberg Chef/Instructor, The Culinary Institute of America at Greystone

Customer Reviews:

Great book!.......2004-07-15

I'm a pastry student. I bought this book because I needed ideas for my projects. This book presents classical desserts with a modern twist. A very useful resource.

Cool Book.......2004-01-26

I thought that this was a great book. As stated above; by other reviewers, this is not a beginner's book although not one that is entirely impossible for beginners to follow. I bought this book for reference for an upcoming ACF sanctioned event. I am rather new to this field but will be competing in it. It has many great ideas and alot of the deserts where displayed beautifully. The preparation of many garnishes where not explained but these are easily found on the internet.

I recommend this book to anyone looking to not just excel but have fun in the pastry field.

review on pastry.......2001-11-27

I feel that this book didn't project the pastry that people are interested in today. Pastry is like a fashion show, you put your best most tasteful and fashionable out to the public. The fashion is not overpowered by the accessories.. The dessert should be able to project itself alone.. In this book the desserts were lost among all the garnish..

Not for beginners!.......2000-10-09

I agree with the previous reviewer this book is not for beginners. BUT what a book! The recipies are great, and presentations wonderful. The portions, sometimes serving 20 need to be reduced, and measures are in weight (took me a minute with 10 oz eggs). If you're a veteran baker you'll have a book that challenges-- and rewards with plenty of wow appeal at your next dinner party.

Top Resource For Pastry Professionals.......2000-06-25

I highly recommend this book to pastry professionals and students, skilled amateurs, and aficionados of fine food photography. As the pastry chef of a large Chicago hotel, I am frequently asked to create elaborate showpieces and spectacular plated desserts for banquets and VIPs. Inspiration for these creations is sometimes swallowed up by production demands. A Neoclassic View of Plated Desserts has been an invaluable resource for ideas, presentations and techniques. The photographs are not only dazzling, they are also instructive. The recipes are well-written and tested (measurement are in grams and ounces, too!). The sugar chapter alone (by Ewald Notter) makes the book worth buying.

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